Cup my feet. Please, cup them good.

Since I haven't made y'all suffer through me whining about my plantar fasciitis for at least a week or two, let me remedy that.

Back in March when my cat scared me and I missed the bottom step in my house and I fell and broke my wrist, I also got whiplash.  And do y'all know what hurts like hell?  Whiplash.  I will never again think that someone who is walking around in a cervical collar is not in severe pain if they say they have whiplash.  I never in a million years imagined how awful it was until I had it.  Thank goodness I didn't have to wear a cervical collar other than when I was in the ambulance the year before when I tripped on my flip flop and flew headfirst into the front door of Five Guys Hamburgers and broke my humerus right there on the sidewalk in front of a lot of people.

No, after I got scared by my cat and broke my wrist (stupidest injuries ever), for three and a half months I went to the chiropractor.  Even though he completely weirded me out, I went two or three times each week.  He hugged me a lot.  He always talked about my jewelry.  He was odd.  But the thing is, he wasn't fixing my neck.  I had 3 massages and a gazillion chiropractic adjustments and I still could not turn my head.

One day when I was in physical therapy for my wrist which I broke when my cat scared me and I fell down my stairs (in case you already forgot how stupid my injuries are) I mentioned to my therapist that my chiropractor was weird and that he wasn't helping me and asked her if she could recommend any exercises or stretches I could do at home for my neck.  She said she could work on it but that I should try their massage therapist first because she's kind of a miracle worker.

I made an appointment and went over what was going on and she started the massage.  A few minutes in she said, "I'm going to do cupping on you."

Um, what???

Have any of you ever heard of cupping therapy?  I had not.  I think it's a Chinese acupuncture treatment and you can use fire or a vacuum.  It's small cups and the fire technique uses a flame to suck the oxygen out of a small glass cup and then they stick it on you and it sucks your skin up into the cup.  With the vacuum, they suck you in the cup with vacuum suction just like it sounds.  It is supposed to increase blood flow to areas of your body, drain your lymphatic system, it will help muscles loosen up, etc.

All I know is that I wanted to french kiss that massage therapist when she was done because for the first time in almost four months my neck was not in excruciating pain.  After I french kissed her, I wanted to have her baby.  In one hour she fixed my neck completely.  After three and half months of being hugged by my creepy chiropractor and being in constant pain which was almost debilitating on some days.

I asked her if she could do the same thing for plantar fasciitis and she said we could give it a try.

But then my bathrooms sprung leaks and other unexpected stuff happened and I didn't have the money even though she only charges $50 for an hour massage.  But then fake daughter started paying rent this month so I went to see my favorite massage therapist on the planet last night.

She did a little "maintenance" on my shoulders and neck to make sure everything stays loose up there and then she said that to work on my plantar fasciitis she would need to focus a lot on my calves.  I didn't even know that the plantar fascia runs from the toes all the way up your calf, but I learned that last night.

I told her both feet hurt but the left one is worse so she started there and as soon as she touched my calf she said she could understand why I'm in so much pain because my muscle was hard as a brick.  She massaged and then she cupped.  Then she did a deep tissue massage and then she cupped some more.  Then she did more deep tissue massage.  And it hurt like hell but I told her to keep doing it anyway because I'm tired of barely being able to stand up or walk on my stupid feet.  She then repeated the entire process all over my foot and ankle.  She felt "crunchiness" in the arch of my foot and she said that's an indication of bad inflammation and that's why my feet hurt.  Then she did the whole thing on my right calf and foot.  Today I feel like I worked out my calves for about 19 hours straight they are so sore, but they definitely feel looser.  I'm always super sore after a deep tissue massage though so I think it was more that than the cupping therapy.  And y'all, the pain in my feet was much less this morning.  They still hurt, but on a scale of 1 to 10, they used to be about a 20 and now they are closer to a 10.  She told me to keep wearing my ugly ass shoes, keep using the inserts (I do think they are helping at least a tiny bit too), to ice my feet a lot and she gave me some calf stretches to do.  So hopefully y'all won't have to hear about my stupid feet too much more.

Wanna see cupping?  It's the weirdest thing but I am telling you it has been working for me.  And in a lot of the videos I've watched the patients say, "Oh no, this doesn't hurt a bit" and they are LIARS!  My therapist says it does hurt worse the tighter your muscles are and I'm here to tell you I almost jumped off the table a few times.  It hurts!  But the pain goes away as soon as the cup is removed so it isn't a long term kind of pain.  I told her I'm going to try to do this once a month with her if I can afford it.

 I've just been given a huge project for work.  I will try to post tomorrow but if I don't, it's because I'm working on a huge, awful, boring project.