And now I will tell y'all how I almost got arrested the other night. Or morning. Well, it was in the middle of the night.

By the time I was almost arrested, I was so tired I almost didn't care because they might have a cot for me to lay down on and go to sleep in jail.

I had left Texas around 11:00 a.m. Atlanta time on Saturday morning, and I forgot to tell y'all this yesterday, but I stopped at a gas station there and bought a lamp as I left.

I had stopped at the Duck Dynasty place.

I had stood in the middle of the expressway seeing bodies for quite a while that had been ejected from a car in that horrific accident near Jackson, Mississippi.

I had taken a 50 mile detour through Mississippi country.

I had eaten dinner with my aunt and talked to her for a couple of hours.

I had driven through Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  And Birmingham.  And Anniston.

I finally got to a suburb of Atlanta (which I will not name in case the police department googles and finds this post) around 3:00 in the morning.  And I was bone weary tired.  I wasn't sleepy, but I was completely fatigued after 16 hours on the road.  I had half a tank of gas and only 30 minutes to drive until I was home, but I decided to stop there and fill up my car because gas is a lot cheaper out there than in town where I live and then I wouldn't have to stop this week and pay more to fill up.  And I wanted to pick up a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread so I would have something for breakfast on Sunday. 

This was a huge mistake.

I stopped at the pump for gas.  I then went inside to get my milk and bread.  When I was inside, there was the cashier (a young lady), a man buying something, and a sheriff's deputy buying a snack of some sort.  I walked back out towards my car at about the same time the deputy was walking out.  We never spoke to one another.

As I was getting in my car, he flew backwards out of his parking space and then proceeded to speed through the parking lot of the gas station (y'all know how some cops drive like their butts are on fire for no reason?) and I saw him go up a little cut through driveway into the parking lot of a business next to the gas station.  There were 5 more cop cars sitting there.  It was 3:15 a.m. and apparently there wasn't much going on so they were just hanging out.

I got my purse and milk and bread settled in the seat next to me, cranked up my car, and proceeded to turn on my mp3 player.  Now I will admit that I had been playing my music way louder than I should have been for several hours by that point because I was trying to keep myself alert.  So it was rather loud when I put my car in drive and pulled away from the pump.

I heard the thud of something hitting the side of my car as I drove off from the pump and thought, "Crap.  I must have forgotten to close my gas cap."  And sure enough, I saw it open in my side view mirror. 

I stopped by another pump, got out of my car, walked around, screwed the gas cap back on and closed the cover.  I then got back in my car and drove up to the exit of the gas station.  Suddenly a cop was flying across the parking lot towards the exit with his lights on so I sat there thinking he had just gotten a call and I would let him get out before I pulled out into the road.

Only he stopped right at my door and got out of his car.

I had no idea what was going on, so I turned my music down, I rolled down my window and very politely and cheerfully (as cheerfully as I could sound after 16 hours on a hellish road trip) said, "Hi, officer!"

Through gritted teeth, a red face (he was a redhead and you know how red they can get in the face when they are pissed off), and almost spitting at me he was so angry, he screamed at me, "IF YOU DON'T GO BACK IN THAT STORE RIGHT THIS SECOND AND TELL THAT YOUNG LADY WHAT YOU JUST DID, I AM TAKING YOU TO JAIL RIGHT NOW!"

I looked at him blankly because I had no idea what I had just done.

And he just stared at me so I said, "Um, I'm sorry, but what did I just do?"

"DON'T EVEN TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!" he yelled.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I honestly don't know what I've done wrong," I responded.

"YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT NOISE?"

"I heard my gas cap hit the side of my car so I got out and put it on and closed the cover."

"YOU'RE GOING TO SIT HERE AND TELL ME YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT NOISE?"

"I'm sorry, sir.  I really don't know what you're talking about."

"DID YOU NOT SEE 6 COPS SITTING THERE?  WE ALL HEARD IT.  YOU HAD THE GAS NOZZLE STILL IN YOUR CAR AND YOU PULLED THE HOSE OUT OF THE PUMP!"

"Oh.  I am SO sorry.  I honestly didn't realize I had done that."  I really didn't because.....16 hours on the road....hellish trip.....loud music which muffled the sound......mind not working very clearly by that point.

He then proceeded to yell at me (again) that he would tote me off to jail right that second if I didn't go back in the store and tell the lady what I had done.

"I will be more than happy to do that, sir.  Again, I am very sorry.  I honestly didn't realize I did that.  And yes, I saw 6 cop cars sitting next door.  I would never have done something like that and driven off had I realized it.  Especially not in front of 6 police officers.  It was a total accident."

"YOU NEED TO GIVE ME YOUR IDENTIFICATION AND I'LL BE HOLDING ON TO THAT UNTIL YOU GO INSIDE AND RECTIFY THIS SITUATION," he yelled.

"Yes, sir," I mumbled as I got my license and handed it over.

I proceeded to back up, turn around and drive back to the front door and park.  He was hot on my tail and we walked in together.

The cashier was over on one side of the store cleaning some stuff and she looked up.  The officer didn't even speak - he just held up two fingers and very aggressively and angrily waved her over to the counter.  Her eyes darted to me in shock and she came over and walked behind the counter.

"THIS YOUNG LADY JUST DROVE OFF WITH THE HOSE STILL IN HER CAR AND IT PULLED THE HOSE OUT OF YOUR PUMP.  AND THEN SHE WAS GOING TO JUST LEAVE THE PREMISES," he loudly said to her.

And I could have jumped over the counter and hugged her when she replied, "Oh, that's no big deal.  It happens a lot."

At some point another officer had walked in and was standing near the door and he was snickering when she said it. 

She asked him if gas was spewing out of the tank or anything and he told her no.  She again told him it's not a big deal.

The officer called in my license number and when it came back that no one was looking for me I think it made him even angrier.  He really seemed to want to take me to jail for some reason.

I looked at the cashier and said, "I really am incredibly sorry about this.  It was an accident and I didn't realize I had done it.  I've been driving home from Texas today and I'm very tired and apparently my head is not clear right now."

"Oh wow.  Texas?  That is a long way and I can only imagine how tired you are," she replied. 

Then Mr. Officer said again, "DID YOU REALLY NOT SEE 6 COPS SITTING THERE WHEN YOU DID THIS?"

I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sir, yes I saw y'all.  I've apologized and I've tried to explain this was an accident and I was not aware of what I had done.  My brother is a sergeant with the ________ Police Department.  I have a lot of respect for law enforcement.  I am an upstanding and very law abiding citizen.  I haven't even had a speeding ticket in about 20 years.  All I can say to you and this young lady is that I am very sorry."

"WHERE DO YOU WORK?" he barked.

"At a law firm," I said and I thought the other officer was going to pee his pants at that point he was shaking so hard and trying not to laugh out loud.

"WHAT IS THE NAME OF YOUR FIRM AND ARE YOU A PARALEGAL?" because apparently I seemed too stupid to be an attorney.

I told him the name of my firm and that I am a legal assistant.  He wrote all of that down on the very official scrap piece of paper he was using.  He then made me write down my social security number and he got my phone number.

He then slapped my license down on the counter in front of me and barked at the cashier, "YOU GET EVERY SINGLE BIT OF INFORMATION FROM THIS LADY YOU NEED SO SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS.  YOUR HOSE IS JUST OUT THERE ON THE GROUND!"

The cashier replied, "I don't think I really need anything from her.  We'll just call in a work order and they come fix it.  It's really not a big deal at all.  It happens a lot."

He then proceeded to explain to me that he would be preparing a report that would be on file with the police department and if I needed a copy I could get one.

"ONCE THIS YOUNG LADY GETS ALL OF YOUR INFORMATION, YOU ARE FREE TO GO M'AM."

"Thank you, sir.  I hope you have a really good night," I responded as he turned his back to us and walked towards the door.

"What an asshole!  What is his problem?" the cashier said as the door closed behind him.

"You have no idea.  Before we came in here he threatened to take me to jail!" I said to her.

"For pulling the hose out???  It happens all the time!  I really don't think I need anything at all from you, but in case he's out there watching us, just give me your name and phone number so he won't be after you," she said.

I asked her if she wanted me to go get the hose and bring it inside to her and she said no, that we would walk out there and take a look.  We walked out and the hose had come unconnected at a joint.  Nothing was broken, but it was too far over our heads for us to screw it back in.  She kicked it off to the side and said not to worry about a thing and she headed back in.  The two cops were still sitting in the cars next to the pump.

I walked back over to my car and proceeded to try and leave again.  The cop followed me.  Really?

Luckily, as I got back on I-20 he chose to leave me alone.

I finally got home at 4:00 a.m., which was 17 very long hours after I left my mom's house.  I unloaded my car, left everything next to my front door, ripped off my bra and collapsed on the sofa because the thought of walking upstairs to my bed was more than I could handle.

I talked to my brother (the cop) about what happened and he told me I would not be out of line if I called in a complaint against the officer because he was way over the top.  He said technically the officer did nothing wrong, but he was a total hothead and there was no need for him to speak to me the way he did or handle it that way.  He said the fact that I wasn't charged with anything would make my complaint carry even more weight because I still felt the need to call in and tell them how I was treated.  But he said it will take a lot of my time to deal with it.  And I don't think I want to give that guy another minute of my life so I probably won't.

It's been 3 days and I haven't heard a word from the gas station company.  Like the girl said, I guess it happens all the time and it really wasn't that big of a deal.

I just know I am not going to be looking forward to another road trip for the next 100 years or so.