Well, this is a day.

I can't blog today, y'all.

I've been assisting one of my bosses with a huge deal that is closing today and we just had a blasted fire drill.  I had to go down 17 stories, then on down to the loading dock, through the parking deck, up a big hill, and then stand waiting on an elevator along with 50 bazillion other people.  By the time I was standing in the lobby waiting on an elevator, my right foot and ankle were shaking so bad and my thighs were burning so much that I was honestly scared I was going to collapse right there in front of everyone.  And security said the stairwells were all unlocked if we wanted to take the stairs back up.  Really?

I'm sweaty, and I'm not feeling so good due to walking down 17 stories in a highrise with plantar fasciitis that already had my feet hurting today.  And I have too much to finish for this closing.

So watch this video instead of reading about the rest of my trip to the mountains.  The little girl at the 2:30 mark breaks my heart.  The girl at 5:16 is probably how I would have been - a total drama queen.  And the very last girl is what I want to call whoever decided we should have a fire drill today:

I need a vacation stat!

I haven't forgotten to blog, I just haven't had time because work has been insanely busy.

So go watch at this so you'll know I'm not the only one who falls down a lot:

And then go watch one of my favorite videos of all time.  And if you have to ask me what you're supposed to watch in it, well, I don't even know what to say:

I will try to blog on Monday to tell you about all of the dumb things that have happened over the past couple of days.  And tomorrow is the Halloween parade in Little 5 Points so I'm sure there will be some stories about that.

Have a great weekend!

Help!

I didn't post yesterday because this is what my day consisted of:

Ring, ring, ring.

"Help Desk, this is _________ speaking."

Me:  "HHHHHHEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!"

Anytime I can have THREE people in our IT department admit defeat after I have spent approximately 2.5 hours on the phone with them logged in with me working on a document is a day when I don't feel like such an idiot.  Because I had already tried to figure this document catastrophe out by myself, but after spending a couple of hours at my desk cursing under my breath, I called in for help.  Our trainer, who I've never known to not be able to figure out how to fix something, said this document was not fixable (it was what I call a Frankenstein document - my boss had cut and pasted parts of documents from attorneys here, from the client, from documents on the internet, and had revised it repeatedly over the course of a month, the client had made revisions, etc. and then I was given the fun task of formatting the entire thing and creating a Table of Contents).  Between that and having a billing deadline with approximately 20 gazillion clients with 20 gazillion bills each, I did not have time to post.  And you can imagine I was in a good mood too.

Before I go on with my post for today (which at this point I have no clue what I'm going to write about), let's talk about the salad dressing I drank because two of you asked what kind of salad dressing I drank like that is the important thing.  The important part of the story is that it was disgusting to take a giant gulp of salad dressing when you're expecting a sweet and creamy gulp of iced coffee.  But the truth is, I don't even know what kind of salad dressing I drank. 

We have lots of breakfast and lunch meetings in our office and there are lots of leftovers around here which is why it's a good thing I don't normally go to lunch until 1:00 or 1:30 because I get free lunch a lot.  And sometimes there are TONS of leftovers so we get free lunch and then put some up for the next day too or, as was the case this time, I was in the middle of eating my lunch I brought from home when the leftovers were brought in the break room so I got some salad to save for the next day's lunch.  The salad and dressing were from Maggiano's and I had put some dressing in a cup so that I wasn't Miss Piggy of the law firm by taking the entire container.  It was kind of beige/off-white in color and creamy but it was not a typical ranch, blue cheese, etc.  It was something I've never had before and it was not good to gulp straight from a cup, however, it was quite delicious on my salad once I finally ate it the correct way.

And guess what I just ran and got.  More free salad.  It's Caesar with Caesar dressing and I've already put the dressing on my salad since I'm going to eat it in about an hour so I won't be drinking it today.  I think it's important that y'all know I'm not going to make salad dressing gulping a habit.

Also, y'all discussed my garage door remote situation.  Sara with your h, I can buy a remote that attaches to my key chain and program it to go with my existing opener? Even if I'm the most technology challenged person on planet Earth?  Where do I buy one?  And Anita, you're not dreaming.  I did get a new keypad installed to open and close my garage, but my hands were too full to hold the remote and they were also too full to slide open a cover and punch buttons on a key pad.

One more thing y'all asked about in the comments is if I have tried melatonin (I just typed melanoma at first and no, I haven't tried skin cancer to cure insomnia) or Mid-Nite for my sleeping issues.  And the answer is yes.  I've tried Mid-Nite, Calms Forte, melatonin, Ambien, Tylenol PM, Advil PM, store brand PM, two different natural products my mom uses but I can't remember the names of either of them, and my doctor has tried putting me on anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants and neither of those phased me.  Well, the anti-depressants phased me but not in the area of my lack of sleep.  They made me lose all sense of balance to the point that I would be walking down the hall and fall down for no reason (and let's face it, I don't need any help falling down since I fell and broke my arm twice in a year without being on any meds at all) and they made me drive like a maniac and know it but I could not stop myself from going 30 - 40 miles over the speed limit and cutting and weaving in and out of traffic closely in front of people on the expressway, so that was a very short six week experiment that failed miserably and almost made me injure myself or someone else.  I've tried cutting out all caffeine.  I've tried exercising.  I've tried meditating and do y'all know what I suck at?  Meditating.  I went to a counselor to "talk about things" and "share my feelings" to see if I just had too much crap bottled up inside (which I do, but spending all that money talking about my crap each week for over a year didn't help me sleep either).  I've tried not watching TV or looking at electronics for a certain amount of time before bed.  I've bought new pillows.  I've sprayed stuff in my room with lavender and chamomile.  I've drank chamomile.  Hot showers.  Hot baths.  I've even bought a new bed.  Nothing works.

So basically, I just get by on 3 or 4 hours total of broken up bits of sleep (and that's on a good night) and I read a whole lot of books in the middle of the night.  Reading does put me to sleep fairly quickly, but I don't stay asleep for very long.  Sometimes I'll stay asleep for an hour, sometimes only 15 or 20 minutes.  But if y'all can think of anything else to try, I am game.  I never had sleeping issues in my life until I went through my divorce.  So I blame my ex-husband for this.  Along with a bunch of other stuff (see above re: bottled up crap).

Well, look at that.  I didn't know what to write about but I think this is long enough.  Long enough to make y'all think I'm insane anyway.

Today I drank some salad dressing

Happy Tuesday!

In addition to accidentally taking a giant gulp of salad dressing out of a cup sitting on my desk earlier this afternoon as one does, I have been busy printing hundreds of pages of court cases about blah blah blah for one boss and I should probably print a set for myself to take home and cure my insomnia I've had for 10 years (and seriously, something I could never do would be reading the crap attorneys have to read all day), getting a phone installed for another boss, and learning that I am the ONLY person in my entire law firm of over 200 people who does a certain task in the particular way I do it as opposed to how everyone else does it.  What I like to be is weird and different so the girl who has to work on this stuff on quite a regular basis told me she likes me and she likes weird so I should keep doing it my own way so I absolutely will.  She gets me.  We are both flying our freak flags as much as you can do that when working for a serious law firm.

Also, we have a bakery in our building (I know!) and I try to forget it's there because they have awesome stuff and I already weigh 9,000 pounds, but today they were giving away free coffee.  I think they were supposed to give us a small complimentary size cup of coffee but what they handed me was kind of like a gallon of coffee.  I drink iced coffee about 75% of the time and even more so since I'm pretty sure I'm starting to have hot flashes which suck so very much, so I started pouring my free bakery coffee in one of our firm provided solo cups over ice which is how I make my one cup of coffee I drink every day (I didn't say I'm a snooty iced coffee connoisseur).  The point is, I drank FOUR solo cups of iced coffee and still had hot coffee left over and so I've spent about 2 hours of my day running up and down the hall to the bathroom because oh my word I cannot stop peeing, and I am about to climb the walls because I cannot sit still.  This should help the whole insomnia thing.  But honestly, I stopped drinking it around 11:00 a.m., it is now 5:25 p.m. and I'm still peeing non-stop.  How do you pot-a-day coffee people get anything done?

They are giving away free coffee tomorrow morning too.  If you're going to be in Buckhead between 8 and 10 I can tell you where!

In other news, my fake son left yesterday to move to Europe so I'm down to one fake child.  Let me rephrase:  I'm down to one very sad, very lonely, very depressed, very teary-eyed fake child and honestly my heart was breaking for her last night when I got home and went in her room to check on her.  They are very close so I knew she would have a hard time when he left and she cried when I talked to her.  I felt so horrible for her.

In addition to listening to a girl cry and having my heart broken last night, it was the night to take the trash to the curb for pick-up.  Exciting, right?  My garage is detached and I have to use my remote to get in the garage each morning (as opposed to walking into the garage from a door in my house - keep up) so I can't leave it in my car when I get home at night.  So I stuck my garage remote in my pocket because I had to carry my purse, my lunch bag, a magazine, push the trash can up to the curb, check the mail, close my front gate, unlock the front door, open the door, and try to not let my cat get out of the house.  In the process of doing that, I apparently hit the button on the remote with the fat around my hips or I may have hit it with my finger when I was taking the remote out of my pocket, but somehow I opened my garage door and didn't know it.

Fake daughter has to leave for work before I get out of bed because she has to arrive at 7:00 a.m. and she texted me telling me what I had done.  So yeah.  I left my garage door open all night in the 'hood with my car unlocked, my lawn equipment up for grabs, my dad's antique camera collection available for the taking, and all of fake daughter's stuff she bought for her apartment along with a lot of her clothes and her bicycle just sitting there for anyone who wanted it.  Luckily no one seemed to know because everything seemed to be there.

And now I am hoping for a very calm night.  But I plan to go run some errands after work so there is no telling what will happen......as long as I can stop this blasted peeing.

Where are my keys?

Well.  I think what I learned from Music Monday this week is that there have been no songs recorded about jail/prison in the past 30+ years or that we are all at least 192-years-old with the stuff that was submitted. 

I'm going to stick with my declaration of AC/DC being the winner.  Because I heart them.  That Webb Pierce thing which TWO of you submitted?  Um, no.  Just no.  That brings back too many memories of having to sit with my Mam-ma watching Lawrence Welk and his bubbles on Saturday nights down in Vidalia, Georgia.  Usually followed by Hee Haw or my Poppie would take over the living room to watch an Atlanta Braves game while listening to the play-by-play of a different baseball game on the radio and reading the newspaper sports section about the games from the day before while gnawing on a cigar.  He was a multi-tasker and I adored my Poppie.  Except for his baseball/newspaper reading/cigar gnawing habit. 

Second Place goes to Sadie!  I also heart blues music and Muddy Waters is one of my favorites.

And if you'd like to see her submission you're going to have to copy and paste what I give you in a minute into your browser.  Blogger has a You Tube search thing built into it when you want to embed a video.  Sadie's submission is not coming up when I search and I have not been able to figure out how to copy and paste a link to embed because technology hates me.

Here is Sadie's submission:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98btg7T4tWI

Third Place goes to Bobbi because how can you talk about prison songs and not think of this one?  And because Johnny is shooting us a bird and making an EFF YOU! face (I hope that's what shows up when this post is published or y'all are going to wonder what on earth I'm talking about.)

In unrelated news, I have two bosses now that one of my bosses left our firm and let's just say that one of them is a gigantic challenge to work for on a good day.

He came to my desk this morning and said, "You are not going to believe what I did yesterday."

And yesterday was not fun because our entire system for internet, phones, and emails crashed for about half of the day and it's the third time it's happened in a week.  Our IT department is happy with our provider as you can imagine.  Especially since we are considered a leading technology law firm and our technology keeps crashing. 

Anyway, my boss came up to me this morning and told me that he came in the office yesterday morning and left his car running all day long in the parking deck.  I asked him if it ran out of gas and he said it was on empty when he got in it last night and he prayed he would make it to the gas station.  He made it to the gas station but discovered he had a flat tire.  So he had himself a great day of not being able to communicate with any of his clients and a great night of car problems.

It reminded me of something I did back in high school.  My dad was a firm believer in supporting mom and pop operations when you could.  His theory was that they couldn't afford advertising like big companies so they had to do a good job and provide good service in order to stay in business because they relied on word of mouth advertising.  I have to say his theory makes a lot of sense.

We always took our cars for service by a family run place and it was a couple of miles down the road from us and they had built a garage behind their house and that's where they fixed our cars. 

My younger brother and I shared a car for a period of time and this car had many weird mechanical issues so it was in the shop a whole bunch.  One day a friend of mine dropped me off to pick up the car from the family mechanic and I realized I had no more checks on me to pay them.  Because they knew us so well he told me to go ahead and take the car and I could drop a check off the next day. 

The next day I went back to pay them and it was pouring down rain.  I parked in their driveway and ran as fast as I could inside to drop off the check.  I ran back outside to my car and discovered I had locked the door.  With my car still running.  The lights were still on.  The defrost was blasting.  And the windshield wipers were flapping.

So I ran back inside and as embarrassed as I could be, I told the owner what I had done.  He asked if I had another key at home and I said I did.  He asked me if I could get in my house and I said I could.  The owner had to drive me to my house to get a car key and my entire family never let me live it down.

I wish I could tell you that taught me a lesson and I never locked my keys in my car again.

But I can't tell you that.

Because about a year later I stopped at a friend's house in my neighborhood to drop something off and I did it again.  With the car running and almost on empty.  And it ran out of gas in her driveway.

I totally just checked my purse to make sure my keys are in there. 

They are.

This also reminds me of a story I need to tell you about this boss with a flat tire and his interview here.  It is crazy.

But please tell me all of you have locked your keys in your car with it running at least once.

Seriously? Crazy stuff always happen to me, but this? This was the most surreal thing I think I've ever been through.

For the love of Pete, y’all.  (I’ve always wondered who that poor Pete is that has his name used in that way.)  This past two weeks have been insanely crazy.  And I am only going to write for a certain length of time because I’m sneaking this post in from work while my boss is out for the afternoon, but two of the partners on my team have challenged each other to a rap battle at 5:00 and if you think I am missing that because of writing on my blog, you are crazier than I am.  And then I have to leave immediately after that because I’ll be getting into overtime which is frowned upon.  So if this post ends quite abruptly, you now know why. 

Something happened last week that I never dreamed in a bazillion years I would be involved in.  Some of you are already aware if you’re friends with me on Facebook or saw my comment on BBP. 

But before I get to that, I will update you on things from my last post.  First of all, I am still flipping sick.  I cannot kick this cold or whatever the crap it is.  This Sunday will be 3 weeks I have been hacking and wheezing.  Everyone else who has had it says it lasts about a month.  So hopefully I only have a week or so of it left. 

And something else broke in my house, y'all.  I fixed a broken toilet one Saturday afternoon.  (The bowl would not fill with water so I jammed the hose down a tube thingie that it was supposed to be in and held it in place with some cardboard torn from a hair color box.  Because I'm a girl plumber.)  That Saturday night?  My ice maker totally stopped making ice.  I jiggled stuff.  I banged on stuff.  And I cursed at it.  I read the manual.  No help.  I went online for advice.  No help.  My refrigerator is almost brand new.  I bought it when I moved in my house 15 months ago.  And suddenly 4 days later it started making ice again just as quickly as it had stopped. 

My car is still not fixed because my mechanic cannot get the manufacturer to agree what part I exactly need and he said they have sent cartoon drawings back and forth, photos back and forth, and had about 3904789435034 phone calls about it.  Therefore, I am driving only back and forth to work and I have not driven my car at all for the past 3 weekends so that I don’t make it any worse.  Fun is what that is.  And last week when I had my exciting and completely unexpected adventure of a lifetime, I took the train each day so I only put about six miles on my car all week because all I had to do was go to the station (it’s not safe to walk there in my ‘hood alone) and to the grocery store once. 

The train.  What a fun experience that was. 

I had a construction worker try to put some moves on me.  I had a total thug dude tell me he loved my scarf.  Two babies on opposite sides of the tracks in the very echo-y below ground station had a screaming/crying competition one afternoon.  People kept asking me about the train schedule because apparently I looked like I knew what I was doing.  (I had no clue what I was doing or what the train schedules were other than the one I was on.)  I gave a disabled guy some change so he could pay his fare.  And a lady sang nursery songs the entire trip one morning.  One evening, by the time I got home, I was about to pee all over myself.  As I sat on the toilet extremely happy I made it in time, my cell phone rang in my pocket.  It was my security alarm company.  Apparently in my rush to get my alarm turned off so I could make it to the potty in time, I managed to set off a silent alarm.  Ack!  I’ve set my alarm off really loudly a couple of times, but I honestly did not even know I had a silent alarm.  But I found out I did while sitting on the potty of all places. 

So where was I going on the train?  I left my office on Thursday, February 21^st and told my bosses and my team that I would see them possibly Friday afternoon and if not, I’d definitely see them on Monday because I had jury duty but there was no possible way I’d get picked because I’ve had jury duty 345972340523-045 times and they never choose me.  I work for a law firm and my brother is a cop.  No attorneys ever want me on a jury. 

 Except this time they did.  And this wasn’t just any case.  No.  It was an absolutely horrific case.  An EXTREMELY violent murder case.  I have to be honest, this case has impacted me in a huge way that has had me thinking about some really big things.  And it has freaked me out quite a bit.  I’ve been looking over my shoulder constantly for the past couple of weeks.  I could not make myself sleep upstairs in my house until two days ago because I wanted to be able to hear any and all noises that might be happening outside.  I know that sounds crazy, y’all.  But I’ve been incredibly spooked and almost feel  haunted by this case.  And I’m not really ready to talk about it on here.  I’ve been checking online and at this point I don’t see that this person has been transferred to a prison yet.  And until I can see that online, I really don’t want to put any details on here that might possibly connect me to the case.  And quite honestly, I might not ever talk about any details on here.  Because he might be in custody, but everyone he knows is not. 

Okay, it’s law partner rap battle time so I have to run.  Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! 

Do y’all miss Music Monday?  Should we start it back up or was that kind of dumb to y’all?

Y'all are really still coming by to see if I've written anything?

Jane and a couple of other people called me out in the comments on BBP today for not blogging.  It's only been a month and 3 days since I've blogged.  Geez.  Y'all are so demanding.

Ima try to catch y'all up on the past month other than the normal boring work stuff I do because I've been doing a lot of that.  We're in the middle of a HUGE deal at my firm right now and we are all working late hours, the attorneys are all working weekends, etc.  This is a deal with a number so big it makes my head hurt.  I worked until 9:00 one night last week formatting a huge document.  And when I got in the next morning, I discovered my boss had sent me a copy of the document and not the actual document (because we have a super confusing doc management system that most of our firm hates and this very same thing has happened to tons of people so please don't think I'm an idiot) so the 12 hours of work I did on it?  None of it was saved on our system.  Our IT department searched all over my computer and could not find the version with all of my edits anywhere.  And the client needed it that morning to work on it and get it to their auditors. I hated everything that day.  And I still kind of hated everything by the day after that too.

But here's some of the stuff I've been up to over the past month that doesn't suck like that did.  Well, a couple of non-work things suck too, if I'm being honest.

I went out of town for a girls weekend with my aunt, two cousins, and one of their daughters.  My aunt bought my grandparents' house after they both passed away, so we went there.  Within 30 minutes of arriving, my cousin's 7-year-old daughter had me dressed up with purple fuzzy earmuffs and holding a sword and mace (both plastic, don't worry).  And then I had to have sword fights in the front yard.  The 2-year-old boy next door saw us and came and joined us as well.  And I had to run and hide all over the back yard.  And up and down the two stories of deck stairs.  And girlfriend, I am one out of shape blob.  I was dying.  Thankfully, we only did that for an hour or or so (although it felt like 10 hours at least) before she let me rest for a minute on the front porch.  I managed to turn it into resting until I left the next afternoon.  I had had enough sword fighting for one weekend.  Or possibly for the rest of my life.  I did play "spies" with her using walkie talkies.  I sent her on missions while I sat my fat butt on the porch and talked to her.  I mean it would not have hurt the size of my arse for me to do some more sword fighting and running around, but I really just didn't want to.

Okay.  I'm back.  Did y'all know I was gone in the middle of writing this post?  I was.  Hot Brazilian just called me from Brazil and we talked for an hour and a half.  And now I'm going to write for a little bit longer but because I just spent an hour and a half on Skype, I'm not going to write as much as I had planned because girlfriend is tired.  And it's late.  Also, after we hung up because he was about to drop from exhaustion because he had a super crazy weekend (not really in a good way) and he could not stay awake for one more minute, I had to fix all of the spelling and grammar on a very important email he's working on because English is definitely not his first language.  (Don't worry - I use proper grammar when I'm writing work stuff unlike this blog.)  Y'all, he speaks English fairly well and I always understand what he means when he writes, but if it's something important he has me "fix" it all for him.  Which is probably for the best because he once sent me an email to fix before he sent it (THANK GOODNESS) to the owner of a company trying to schedule a meeting which contained the sentence, "I'll be cumming to (name of city)" on some particular date.  And I wrote him back telling him to never, ever, ever use that word in a business email and then I had to explain the difference between "cumming" and "coming" while I was sitting at my desk with people surrounding me.  Fun is what that conversation was.  But there is a city just north of Atlanta called Cumming, GA and so he asked me about that.  To which I had no answer.  Because, really?  Cumming, GA?  Why would you call yourself that?  Of all the names in the world, y'all really went with that one?

So, I guess from that last paragraph you may have just figured out why I said earlier that some non-work stuff also sucks.  Hot Brazilian is still in Brazil.  He was supposed to be sitting here on my sofa with me as of the last week of December, but some Things I Cannot Discuss have come up (but have not cum up (oh how could I resist that one?)).  I am being understanding, but I am not happy about this change of plans.  And it's partially his fault but partially not and he has cried buckets because he wants to be back here so badly and I have cried the Big Ugly Scrunched Up and Screaming Face cry more than once and it has been a super depressing couple of weeks for both of us.  But I can't really go into any sort of detail here.  No, I don't know how much longer it will be before he's back.  Suck.  Suck. Suck.

This also means I spent New Year's Eve at my fun neighbors' house and we watched football.  Which is not really my favorite thing to do, but it certainly beat sitting at home alone and probably crying because Hot Brazilian was not here with me.  The game was over around 11, I helped clean up the food/kitchen, etc. and then the husband walked me home even though it's only 3 houses away because it was almost midnight in the 'hood.  At midnight I hate to tell you that I was standing at my kitchen counter sorting dried beans so I could soak them overnight and make ham and bean soup.  Whoa.  Don't you want to come spend NYE at my house next year?  Maybe we can match up socks to fold together.  Or carry the garbage outside to the trash can to celebrate.  Maybe you can think of something to rival sorting dried beans!  I am open to all household chores as a way to ring in the new year.  (Except for toilet cleaning.  I will draw the line there.)

Some other things I haven't caught you up on (I say this like y'all are really interested) include my weirdest Christmas ever, a baby (not mine!), another encounter with a crazy dude in my 'hood (I gave him some money and my friend blessed me out about it), my friend's obsession with people selling socks on Atlanta's public transportation, how I managed to completely ruin green bean casserole which is quite possibly one of the world's easiest dishes but I cook about as much as June Gardens, how a stray cat almost gave me a heart attack this weekend, my completely disastrous return to painting, and how I am obviously trying to bring sexy back with the outfit I put on when I got home from work tonight.  If any of those things sound interesting, let me know and I'll try to write about them. 

But right now I'm going to bed.  Even though I had a much calmer weekend than Hot Brazilian, I think I am almost as tired as he was when we hung up a while ago. (He had yet another car stuck in the mud in the middle of the jungle experience, but this time they walked 8 miles to a village and paid complete strangers to take showers, sleep in their house and be fed.  I, on the other hand, never sleep so I took two sleeping pills Friday night.  While I still woke up at 1:00, 3:30, 5:45, etc., I also never got out of my pj's on Saturday and didn't manage to get off the sofa until almost 3:00 p.m. because they made me so lethargic.)  First I ring in the new year sorting dried beans.  Then I spend all day on the couch in a coma.  I can see why y'all would want to keep coming back here.

Meat and potatoes. I'm too tired to think of a better title than that.....

Okay.  Apparently my cat is just an asshole.  Because I spent $300 I really don't have right now at the vet last week to find out there is nothing wrong with her.  Every single test they've done has come back normal except her white blood count was a tad elevated.  So I guess she's just fighting off some sort of infection which has been blowing out of her butt and making me panic.  And almost barf on a number of occasions while cleaning up after her.  I'm now out the $300 at the vet, a set of sheets, and my comforter, all of which I washed three times and cannot get clean.

We started working in our new temporary office spaces today.  And we are all very pissy about it.  My one boss HATES his office.  And they lost his gigantic leather desk chair during the move.  And his desk set up is not comfortable and so his arm is aching when he types on his computer.  And the person who was in his office before him left a bunch of crap behind.  And a few of his desk drawers will not open.  And there's no hook for him to hang his coat so I have to hang it in my cubicle.  (Believe it or not, this boss is normally one of the most easy going, non-complaining people you'll ever meet.)  And my other boss has a GIANT round pole in the middle of his office so he HATES HATES HATES his office.  Seriously, this pole thing is so large I could not reach my arms around it if I tried.  And my phone didn't work and they didn't hook my printer up to my computer.  They just plugged it into the wall and left.  And they lost one of my largest boxes of stuff and as of 6:15 when I left the office tonight it's still missing.  So Monday went well.....

But last night I finally got to talk to my Hot Brazilian.  Yaaaaayyyyy!  When he gets back here in late December/early January y'all are going to see a whole different side of me.  The side that is happier and is getting the world's best hugs and has someone to lean on.  And hopefully the side that is way less whiny than I have been lately.

While we were talking though, he told me something and it made me second guess whether I'll ever be able to kiss him again......

He and a couple of friends had to go deep, deep, deep into the Amazon for some work related stuff  which is one reason I didn't hear from him for a while.  Do y'all know how easy it is to find internet service that deep in the jungle?  It's impossible because it doesn't exist.

Do you know what else doesn't exist? 

Restaurants.

They had taken rice, beans, etc. with them but he got tired of eating that constantly.  So they started catching their own fish to eat. 

Then they got tired of eating nothing but rice, beans, and fish.  Hot Brazilian wanted to sink his teeth into a giant piece of meat.

He sent me the name of the animal they hunted, chased into a river full of snakes, and killed to eat.  And I cannot even tell y'all the name of it because it is disgusting that they ate this thing.  It's nothing we have here in the US that I'm aware of so there is no need to try and guess.  But trust me.....when I Googled it, I almost barfed just thinking that they ate it because it said what animals it's most related to (and no, I'm not telling y'all what it's related to either).  He says it tastes like pork.  I told him I would starve before I would eat it.

And now I have to try and forget about it or I will never be able to kiss the lips that had such a disgusting kind of meat pass them.  Oh.  Y'all.  I can't believe they ate this thing......

Which leads me to this week's Music Monday theme.....

Meat!

The song(s) you submit must contain a type of meat in the title (ham, steak, hot dog, chicken, etc.) OR the animal a meat comes from (pig, chicken, cow, etc.)  You can also submit songs with a food that would likely contain meat (burrito, taco, fajita, etc.)

Can't wait to see what y'all come up with! 

Poop happens. And sometimes it ruins your Monday night.

This is going to be short because I have had a day.  And a night.

I finally finished packing the client files in my office today that have to be sent to our off-site storage.  One of my bosses was moved this past Friday so he called and emailed me all day about stuff he was missing, stuff he can't find on his new temporary floor, stuff that wasn't working, etc.  Then we had trick or treating for the children, grandchildren, etc. of our employees so I had a bazillion kids coming through my door asking for candy.  One of my co-workers was crying most of the day because she had to have her dog put down on Saturday and I felt just awful for her.  Then one of my bosses told me that his wife had called him and she had found their dog dead in his bed early this afternoon.  So relaxing and non-emotional was what today was.

All of this was going on while I knew I had to take my sweet Bailey to the vet tonight because she has had some tummy issues for a couple of weeks and then I saw blood on the floor twice this weekend and I have no clue which end it's coming from.

I got to the vet at 7:15 and we finally got called back at almost 8:30 and we sat in the waiting room with 3 big dogs and yet my sweet little cat was howling and crying the loudest of any other creature in there.  And I finally got back home at 10:15.

The vet cannot figure out what's wrong with Bailey, but Bailey is not happy with me at the moment.  She had a rabies shot, another vaccine that gets shot up her nose, a thermometer stuck up her butt, a doctor's finger stuck up her butt, got wrapped up in a towel, and this cat does not like to even be petted anywhere other than her head.  Also, she apparently cannot go more than 2 hours without food because when I let her out of the carrier, she shot like a cannon to her food dish as though she hadn't eaten in days.  Drama queen.

So now I get to attempt giving pills to Bailey twice a day for the next 9 days for her loose stools AND guess what else?  When the doc stuck her finger up her butt it came out clean so she couldn't get a stool sample.  So I get to scoop up cat diarrhea into a vial, keep it in the refrigerator to keep it as fresh as possible, and stampede to the vet with it when they open so they can test her for kidney problems, thyroid problems, and a bunch of other stuff.  And if any more blood shows up on the floor I get to scoop that up too.

It's true what you've heard about me.....I live a glamorous life. 

So let's make the theme for this week's Music Monday.....poop! 

Just kidding.

Let's make the theme be humor because I need some.  We have hurricanes, winter storms, cat diarrhea, packing, dealing with my dad's estate and his not very nice wife, and so I think we could all use a little humor.  Submit the funniest song you can come up with.  We all could use a good laugh, right?

Cardboard. I never want to feel cardboard again.

So I thought tonight I would show y'all photographic proof of why I can't seem to blog more often than I do.

As I told y'all before, our office is going through a remodel.  Next Friday is the day my floor moves.  We move to a temporary space for 3 or 4 months, then we move back to our floor after it's been completely gutted and rebuilt from the floor up.  Fun!  But this coming Monday is our deadline for getting every single file folder bar coded and boxed up to send to our off-site storage warehouse.  One of my bosses has been with my firm since 1999.  I have been bar coding and sending off files from way back in 1999 that the 2 assistants he had before me did not bar code.  In addition to packing up every single thing down to every single paper clip in my own office, I work for two partners and an associate and I have to help all three of them pack up every single thing in their offices.  I have been packing for almost 4 weeks already.  We only have one more week to pack.  And this is what my office still looked like when I left at 7:00 tonight.  I wish this was photoshopped but this is honest to goodness what it looks likes right now because I have been packing almost 15 years worth of files.  And my boss never throws away a piece of paper:

And this is what it looks like in the hallway outside of my office and our file room has already picked up about 5 or 6 times in the past month and this is what my office mate and I bar coded and packed up today.  And there are 15 more boxes off to the right of this photo:

And oh yeah, by the way, we still have to get our regular work done too.  And this is how much space I have on my desk to work right now.  Yes, I have that 5 square inches in front of my keyboard to work from:

And by regular work, I mean those stupid, stupid, stupid huge overnight mailings I get to do all the dadgum time.  We've sent out 160 overnight packages in the past 3 days.  This is only about 45 of them:

And on the weekends when I'm not having all of that crazy fun (although I did go into the office and pack boxes all day one Saturday and didn't even get paid for going in but I had to do it for my own sanity), I go to my dad's house and try to work on getting it cleaned out.  And his mean, greedy wife hasn't moved out yet.  My brothers, one of their wives and I were out there weekend before last to sort and clean out my dad's tools from the garage.  Where the bag of charcoal is sitting?  This is how much space we had to work in.  All four of us were in here.  All of those boxes are my dad's wife's stuff:

This is from the driveway looking into the garage.  Those are all the wife's boxes.  And yet she's upset we took a couple of pieces of pyrex because she says she's, and I quote, "lacking in furniture and stuff".

And this is in my dad's office/studio area in the basement where we've been trying to go through his things.  His things are all behind all of this incredible amount of shit:

And this is actually a fairly large and nice sunroom.  When it's not full of all of her shit.  Since she's "lacking" in stuff, you know:

And this is the state of my dad's dining room right now:

Now do y'all see why I might sound completely mental sometimes?  Because this is what my life is full of right now.  Piles of shit everywhere. Except when I go home at night.  I'm super glad I come home to this where I can be at peace:

Only right now there is a helicopter that has been buzzing over my house for about 10 minutes.  Some cop cars went flying up the street super fast about 20 minutes ago, so this means there is probably someone dangerous wandering my 'hood that they are searching for.  So that's awesome.  Because yesterday did y'all hear about the guy who walked into the megachurch here in Atlanta and shot someone dead who was leading a prayer group?  They arrested the murderer one block from my office yesterday afternoon.  And today they arrested an armed burglar about 1/2 mile from my office after shutting down a highway and bringing out the helicopters looking for him.

Yes, it's just always peace and calm in my world lately.  I am in serious need of a vacation far away from anyone who knows me.  And as far away from packing boxes and helicopters and police cars as a person can possibly get.  I am going on a trip soon but I don't really want to announce when and where on my blog.  But trust me.....it's somewhere you've most likely never heard of and I can assure you that you wouldn't go there on vacation in a bazillion years.  I have to go there for a family wedding.

 I don't know what in the heck is going on with blogger tonight (particularly under that last photo of my bedroom).  First it wouldn't let me hit enter to start a new paragraph.  Then it did let me but even though I hit enter only once, it put about 50 blank lines in but it won't let me take any of them out.  Because apparently blogger thinks I don't have enough nonsense to deal with in life right now.

Okay, winners of the song contest.  Y'all, after this post and the last one with all of the pictures, and the fact that it's 10:30 and I still have to clean out the litter box (because as hard as I try I cannot convince my cat to stop taking so many dumps), I'm just going to list the songs but not go look for the videos to post, okay?  Do y'all understand?  If not, ask me if I care at the moment because I do not.  Also, I just heard something that sounded like the bar on my front gate hitting the driveway.  But the helicopter went away so I'm going to pray they caught whoever they were looking for and didn't just give up and he's not hiding in my backyard or something right now.  I did go look out the window and I didn't see anything.  But honest to goodness, if a bad guy is behind my house or under my back deck, could he have picked a more exhausted person's house to hide at?  Right now I am honestly thinking, "Fine.  Hang out in my yard.  Just don't come in my house and be gone by the time I have to leave for work in the morning please.  I really cannot handle one more thing to deal with at the moment."  Also, did I mention the power went off down my whole street around 8:30 tonight?  TWICE within a minute?  I may or may not have been sitting on the toilet peeing when it happened.  Y'all, my bathroom is very dark when the power goes out. 

When do I get a vacation????

First Place:  Sadie for Madonna's "Dress You Up"

Second Place:  Mary Lou for Mitch Ryder's "Devil With A Blue Dress"

Third Place:  Just Paula for Shakira's "Costume Makes The Clown"

Murders. Big Bird. High fashion. My weekend in a nutshell.

Do y'all want to hear about my exciting weekend?  Do you?

No.  You don't.

I'm going to tell you anyway because I can't think of anything else to write about.

I hate to tell y'all this, but this is what I did all weekend: 

Friday night I sat in traffic for an hour and a half to get home.  9 miles.  90 minutes.  So I was happy about that as you can imagine.  Apparently a guy was sitting at a red light at an intersection a couple of miles from my house which happens to be a super busy intersection.  Some guys from another car (or possibly from 2 other cars - witnesses reported different things) got out, ran up to this guy's car and opened fire on him and killed him.  This was between 4:00 and 5:00 p.m. in broad daylight in the middle of an incredibly busy intersection and they got away.  Some witnesses said they heard as many as 10 gunshots.  Anyway, the police shut down the major intersection in the middle of Friday afternoon rush hour.  And Friday afternoon rush hour already sucks in Atlanta without a major intersection being shut down. I said so many bad words trying to get home.  But then when I found out what happened I wasn't mad anymore, because think about that poor guy who was just sitting at a red light and then he was shot dead.  The story was on the news that night but has completely disappeared out of the media so it's all really weird and I haven't heard about any motive, etc.

Saturday I went to work for 7 hours.  I filed.  I bar coded files. I ordered more bar codes from our file room.  And I packed files in boxes.  I packed up 11 boxes of files.  I've already packed up and shipped off 24 boxes in the past couple of weeks.  AND I AM STILL NOT DONE!!!  This is because one of my bosses will never send anything offsite and I am now sending off files dating back to 1999.  But I am not partying like it's 1999 so Prince can stuff it.  And then I have to help all three of my bosses pack up their offices.  Oh em gee.

Another girl who sits around the corner from me was there packing up boxes too.  She was having about as much fun as I was.  As we left the building and were walking out to the parking deck, we both heard a loud thud, turned around and saw a fairly large bird falling out of the sky.  It hit a tree, then fell to the sidewalk.  And we both gasped.  Our building is glass and it flew into the side of the building up pretty high.  I would guess we saw it fall from at least 9 or 10 stories up.  It was loud when it hit y'all, because it was a BIG bird.  But not Big Bird that Mitt Romney wants to fire.  Big Bird of Sesame Street was not committing suicide at my law firm.  Anyway, we discussed going to check on it.  My co-worker is a bird fanatic.  She videos birds in her yard and sends them to me via email.  I mean, I like birds as much as the next person, but I do not have time to watch videos of birds just doing normal bird things in someone's yard.  Anyway, she decided she'd prefer to assume the big bird just knocked itself out, the tree broke its fall, it had a bit of a headache, but eventually flew off.  She was talking about it all day today.

Then I went to the grocery store.  Ooooh.  Aaaaah.  I could not bring myself to buy any chicken after watching that bird fall out of the sky.

Then I filled my car up with gas because I really know how to party hard on a Saturday night.  And yes Atlanta peeps, I went to the Sidney Marcus QuikTrip and had to wait in line for gas as usual.  But the gas there was about 30 or 40 cents a gallon cheaper than right around the corner on Piedmont at the BP so if you are ever in that area, wait in the lines at QuikTrip because it is totally worth it.  Unless you are Richie Rich and don't have to worry about paying too much for gas.  I am not in that category at all.

Sunday.  Oh Sunday.  I never got dressed.  Well, I sort of got dressed but it was only into clothes that I went outside and did yard work wearing.  And thank goodness the Google maps car did not come by taking pictures while I was out there in my capris, no bra, and Crocs.  I also cooked all of my lunches and dinners for the entire week.  I did 4 loads of laundry.  I swept and mopped the downstairs floors of my house.  And I started getting the guest room and guest bathroom cleaned a little for my brother and his girlfriend/wife (long story and I know I keep saying that so how about I tell y'all the long story in a minute?) to stay with me next weekend so that we can work on my dad's house.  So Saturday and Sunday competed for MOST FUN EVER!!!

Okay, here is the story about why my younger brother has a girlfriend/wife.  My younger brother is a sculptor and he co-owned a foundry, studio, etc. with a guy a few years ago.  His girlfriend/wife (I'm going to say g/w because I'm tired of typing it out every single time) is an artist.  She brought some work to my brother's foundry to have cast into a sculpture and they became friends.  She was married at the time but about to leave her now ex-husband.  She and my brother got to know each other as they were working on her sculptures and eventually were interested in each other as more than friends but would not date until she had moved out and filed for divorce.  She did that and they eventually started dating.  She has now been divorced for several years.  Her ex managed to take a whole bunch of money from her, she gave up a bunch of money just to get divorced and be rid of him, and he swiped a bunch of money from their kids' college funds.  Nice guy.  He is supposedly replacing the college fund money.  And he has to pay her alimony.  If she remarries, he doesn't have to pay her any alimony.  So my brother and his g/w wear wedding rings, call each other husband and wife, own a farm together, she bought out my brother's partner so they now own the foundry/studio together, but they can't actually get married because she is determined to make her ex repay a bunch of the money he took from her.  Her ex still takes her back to court from time to time over really stupid things, and it's generally just a very unpleasant situation with him.  So eventually she will simply be my brother's wife, but currently she's his g/w.

And I think by now most of us know that while I was sitting in awful traffic because someone got murdered, filing and packing, mowing grass and cleaning house, that June found a random puppy in the front seat of her car because her weekend beat my weekend's ass.  To a pulp.

So this week's Music Monday theme is DOGS!  Or puppies.  Anyway, the song(s) you submit must contain a dog word in the title (dog, puppy, a particular breed, etc.)  I know I said I was going to make this week's theme more difficult, but how was I to know when I said that that June was going to get the world's cutest puppy left in her car by a complete stranger?  While I was watching big birds fall from the sky.  Hmmmph.

Police. Drugs. Cake. Getting lost. Anacondas. It's all in this one post.

Surprise!  I’m actually managing to post two whole days in a row.  Because guess what?  I’ve only had to send out 115 overnight packages this week.  Yay!  This post is going to be all over the place.  Consider that a warning. 

We’re in the middle of Friday Afternoon Song Contest here in my office and that reminds me of something that happened.  Yesterday when I was leaving work, I had my windows rolled down.  The area of Atlanta I work in has horrid traffic in the evenings so our building hires police officers to work both of the exits to help us get out or we might sit there forever.  People think Southerners are friendly and hospitable, but put them in Atlanta rush hour and the majority of them turn into selfish, mean, awful people who will not let anyone in front of them.  Plus Atlanta doesn’t have a lot of Southerners left to be honest.  Everyone here is from somewhere else.  But anyway, I was leaving work and had my windows rolled down and I was sitting at the exit waiting for the officer to stop traffic to let me out.  Suddenly I realized he was staring at me with a weird look on his face.  And I realized I had my mp3 plugged in to my stereo and I was  playing it a little too loudly.  A Michael Franti and the Spearheads song was on and the song is about peace.  However, there is one mention of heroin and opium in the song and that’s the part that was playing (loudly) as I sat next to a police officer.  Awesome.  Here is the song: 

Remember I told y’all we are remodeling our offices?  Today is our firm’s anniversary of leasing space in this building (our firm has been in this space since the 80’s) so they brought us two ginormous cakes.  Let me just say that people around here get themselves all worked up and excited over free cake.  So part of our group (two partners, one associate and three assistants) all stampeded for cake.  We have parts of our firm in temporary office spaces all over the building while different floors are under demo and construction.  We have three towers in our building.  After we got our pieces of cake, someone said they wanted to go see the samples of what our new furniture, cubicles, etc. are going to look like.  The samples are in another tower.  You can cross from tower to tower only on certain floors.  And can I tell y’all how lost we got since we never cross towers and didn’t know where we were going?  We went from floor 17 to 10 to 4 back to 10 to 11 to 3 back to 11 to 1 to 3 back to 11 back to 1 and finally back to 17.  And we were all about to wet our pants we were laughing so much.  We had all finished our cake about halfway through all of the elevator rides but no one could find a trash can so we looked kind of dumb, our group of 6 people walking around with empty plates all over the building and throughout two towers. 

We did find the samples at some point though.  After walking around in circles for quite a while when we finally got to the correct floor in the correct tower.  Cubicles.  Not looking forward to that. 

In other unrelated news (I warned y’all this post would be all over the place, remember?), I talked to Hot Brazilian again last night.  I asked him if he had gotten some sleep to recover from his horrible night stuck in the mud in the middle of the jungle and do y’all know what he told me?  Well, no you don’t unless you have bugged my house and listened in on our conversation.  In which case, did y’all like the funny story he told me about when he first moved to the U.S. and he was learning to speak English and a lady kept pressuring him to ask her out on a date and he loved saying “don’t give up” even though he didn’t totally understand what it meant and so he told her not to give up several times so she kept asking him out?  (He never took her out on a date by the way.  They met through some work related stuff and he was afraid she was setting him up to charge him with sexual harassment because that’s what he thought most American women do based on things he had heard.  Ha!  Oh how I love my Hot Brazilian.) 

Anyway, getting back to the point (I say that as though this post has any point whatsoever), when I asked him about whether he had gotten some sleep or not he said no.  Y’all are not going to believe why not.  So I guess I should tell you instead of keeping you hanging, huh?  He hasn’t been able to sleep at night because it’s been raining really hard.  When it rains really hard, the rivers rise and flood the town.  And there are anacondas in the river and they sometimes float right into people’s houses!  OMG!  He said a family was asleep a few days ago, the flooding started, an anaconda floated into a house and ate a man.  Just ate him while he was sleeping, y’all.  Hot Brazilian said the house where he’s staying has not flooded but the street in front of the house has.  So now he can’t sleep when it rains at night.  And I never want to visit the Amazon during rainy season. 

Beverly.  Not at all a fan of being swallowed by a snake in my sleep.

UPDATE:  One of our partners just told me he wishes he was Justin Timberlake.  He also told me earlier this week that he has a perfectly proportioned ass and asked me if I was looking at it while he was using my scanner.  This is why I don't mind my job most days.  And y'all, he's completely straight which you might not think from the two things I just told you.

I can't even think of a title I'm so exhausted right now.

Holy smokes y'all.  I wish I had even a little bit of fun stuff to write about. 

Do y'all want to hear about MORE packages I've sent out?  I sent out 165 sets of crap today.  Our mailroom manager told me that last month our firm sent out around 1,000 overnight packages.  We have over 200 people at my firm.  I sent out 800 of the packages in only two weeks of the month.   I think I deserve some sort of award.  Not that I've ever wanted to earn an award for Most Overnight Packages Produced in One Month because it is a sucky way to earn something.  And between last week and today, I'm on a roll to repeat in August.  Gah.

It is almost 7:00 and I'm still at work.  Don't worry, I clocked out before I started writing this.  I'm not cheating my firm.  I'm posting from work because my internet is still all screwed up at home and who the heck has time to take off work for the cable people to come fix it with 800 overnight packages to send out?

So, moving to another subject.  Except I can't think of any because my life has revolved around overnight packages, screwed up internet service, a huge storm last week that knocked out my power one evening and made a giant mess of my yard with limbs and stuff blown all over it that I spent most of Saturday cleaning up, and I went to breakfast with some friends Sunday morning and by the time we got through eating our eggs we had all three lost 35 pounds because we sweated so much because the restaurant became insanely hot about half way through our meal.  One of my friends is 8 months pregnant and let me tell you how miserable she was.  Actually, I'm not going to tell you.  Because I am already writing such a great post here.  Let me carry on about hot pregnant women and that will make you all beg for more writing out of me.  But my life lately does sound like some exciting crap to blog about, doesn't it?

Oh, I did think of one thing I can blog about but I don't feel like writing it all out at the moment.  June Gardens was talking about ....Ned and his restaurant ordering and it reminded me of something Hot Brazilian always does when we go out.  Well, when we went out.  We don't go out currently since he's in the middle of the Amazon and I'm in the middle of an Atlanta 'hood.  But I'll try to remember to blog about that sometime.  (I know I titled a post recently as being the worst blog post ever.  But now this one is.  "Let me tell y'all about something that I'm too tired to write about!  And that has happened in a while!"  Great post indeed.)

I did go home Friday night, went upstairs to change clothes (into my pajamas even though it wasn't even 7:00 p.m. yet because I am over here living a glamorous life), and I yelled, "Son of a bitch!"  I'm sorry for my language but that's exactly what I said.  Out loud.  Because do you know what?  My air conditioning wasn't working.  I JUST spent over $1,300 fixing the downstairs a/c in May.  And then I said, "$#@&*(" and also, "&^#@!)*&".  Because really?  I've spent almost $7,000 fixing crap in my house between January and July.  After the cursing stopped (and it took a while), I thought, "well, it's just going to have to be hot up here because I cannot afford to fix another broken a/c unit right now."

Then I said, "Ohhhhhhhh, I'm such an idiot."  Because it turns out the battery was dead in the thermostat.  But it took me a few minutes to figure that out and I was livid until I did.  Now I am of the belief that two AA batteries should be the way to fix everything that breaks in a house that is 92-years-old.  I would say way fewer bad words if that were the case.

But let's move on again and talk about Music Monday Contest.  "Finally", you are all saying.  Make her stop complaining about her craptastic life.

Someone said in the comments recently that my house should have a name.  (Right now you don't want to know what I'm calling my house with everything breaking around me from one day to the next.)  So I'm going to let y'all suggest some names.  The title of the song(s) you submit must contain a person's name that you think is an appropriate name for my house.  It can be a girl or boy name.  I guess I'll be judging this week based more on the name than the actual song.  So go ahead and submit some really bad songs with really awesome titles if you want.  And maybe you will come up with the name for my house.

Can't wait to see what y'all come up with!  I have a few songs in mind myself.....

Fed Ex is the love of my life. Well, it thinks so anyway.....

Well, I'm doing a tiny bit better than last week.  I'm posting the Music Monday winners on Thursday instead of Friday......

My internet still doesn't work at home on any type of consistent basis so I haven't been able to blog to y'all from there.  Thank goodness for having Facebook, email and games on my phone though.  I can hardly remember what life was like before smart phones, laptops, etc.  I guess it was a lot calmer and I read a lot more. 

The college student I'm renting my guest room to for the next couple of months moved in Tuesday night.  And last night she went to a party and didn't come home.  That sounds like she's wild, right?  She's actually not.  She told me ahead of time she was staying at her friend's since they were throwing a post-finals/birthday party.  And guess what?  She didn't know the birthday person.  I told her it was just like me throwing a birthday party for someone I don't know and who wasn't even at the party! 

Guess what I did yesterday? 

Just guess.

Overnight packages!  Woot!

This is what it looked like when I first started this past two weeks with its plethora of mailings.  Nice and neat and organized.  This mailing had multiple larger enclosures so I spread out in a conference room:

And this is what my office looked like yesterday afternoon.  After we've sent out now almost 800 overnight packages in two weeks:

You can see a little bit of my poor office mate in this next view from my desk.  She's wearing all black because she's mourning the loss of our neat office.  The brown cardboard box thrown all willy nilly on top of the packages?  That's what the enclosures for yesterday's mailing were sent to us in and I was angry at it so I threw it down when I had emptied it:

Oh y'all, I wish I could even try to explain how tired I am of mailings right now.

Okay, on to the Music Monday winners:

First Place goes to Mary Lou for The Clash - London Falling:

Second Place honors belong to Sadie for Randy Newman - I Love L.A.

And Third Place goes to the judge this week.  And I tied with myself for two songs.  I'm like a knot.  I'm a pretzel.  I'm tied up, man.

The Doors - L.A. Woman

And Deep Purple - My Woman From Toykyo

Thanks for playing along this week everyone! 

Guess what I'm about to do?  Go eat lunch and then?  Then I get to go to a meeting about mailings.  Seriously.  You want to trade lives with me right now, don't you?

Pyeongchang. Very popular in song.

Okay y'all.  Super duper quick post to get the Music Monday Contest going.  Because I'm, you guessed it....working on overnight packages again.  Sigh.

And my internet is still working whenever it feels like it so I have no idea if I would be able to write an actual post and get it to work from home tonight.  Sigh.

So this is all you get today:

Unless you live under a rock, you are probably aware that the Olympics are going on in London right now.  I'm going to make this week's theme a tiny bit tougher than last week's.  The song(s) you submit must contain in the title the name of a city which has hosted the Olympics.  They have to have already hosted so you can't use Rio de Janiero, Brazil or Pyeongchang, South Korea because those are future sites.  Isn't that terrible?  Because there are TONS of songs with Pyeongchang right in the title.  And now you can't submit those.

As a little help, here is a link to the list of Olympic Games host cities.

Let's see what y'all can come up with!  Trust me, there are a lot of songs that fit this theme.  I know because I don't have time to come up with a theme this week so I'm totally stealing our theme from Friday Afternoon Song and I won first and third place.

I thought Friday was never going to get here this week.....

Y'all are not ever going to believe this, but I've made it one whole day without preparing a single overnight package.  My boss just told me that we are past his cut off and if a client sends something for a mailing at this point, we will not send it out until Monday.  Besides, we are now in the middle of our Friday Afternoon Song contest so that is way more important.  (Aaaannnnndddd obviously as I was typing this, I just got an email that I have another mailing on Monday.  So I told my boss I think I'm going to be sick on Monday.  So he said he'll save it for Tuesday.  Isn't he sweet?)

I think I may have finally fixed my internet at home but I will see what happens by the time I get home tonight.  It was almost midnight when I got it working last night and I love y'all and everything, but girlfriend was exhausted after working, grocery shopping, doing a little yard work, and working on the stupid internet so I went to sleep instead of writing to y'all.  It went back out during the night (I couldn't sleep so I was going to play Words with Friends instead of writing to y'all) but it was back on this morning before I left for work.  If it's back out tonight, I'm going to see if my cat can fix it.

I'm going to cut this a little short because I'm at work and trying to catch up on stuff.  I was supposed to go to a party tonight which would have probably given me some great material for y'all, but this week has kicked my butt all over the place so I'm going home and watching tv.  Because I'm exciting is what I am.

I will try to write over the weekend if the internet cooperates and tell y'all about some other craziness going on in my life this week.  And I may try to do the home tour in photos y'all were asking for.  And I'm also going to work on getting my sense of humor back after surviving this horrid week.

Without further ado, here are the winners FINALLY from that song contest I started way the heck back on Monday.

First Place:  Tie

Mary Lou for Celebration by Kool and the Gang.  One of my favorite songs in the whole world.  Just try not to dance along to this.  And Mary Lou, I chose a different video because the lady at the beginning of this one cracks me up fanning her face from the special effects: 

And she tied with Karen for LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem.  LOVE this song!

Second Place is another tie:

Anonymous (was that you, Patti?) for Punky Reggae Party by Bob Marley and the Wailers:

And me!  I told y'all I like the Beastie Boys, right?  You've Got to Fight for Your Right (to Party)

And Third Place goes to:

Karen for Prince - Party Like it's 1999.  And I think we've established it's next to impossible to find Prince videos anywhere online.  But I did find this little bit of awesomeness.  Uhm, hmmmm.  Not sure what to say about this.

Updated:  I just won First and Third Place in our Friday Afternoon Song contest here at work.  But I'm not telling y'all what the theme was and what songs I submitted in case I'm slammed on Monday and steal the same theme idea.

Grrrrrrr! And also, arggggghhhhh! Plus hate, hate, hate!

I’m finally coming up for air.  But maybe only for a few minutes.  Since last Wednesday, my boss has had almost 600 overnight packages to be sent out.  I have yelled at him and he has yelled back at me that it is the clients and not him.  Which is true.  But I can’t yell at the clients because they essentially pay me.  And luckily my boss just laughs at me when I yell at him.  I think it’s because I’m so scary sounding.  Today is the first day I’ve been able to do anything other than overnight packages.  I have two other bosses.  I’m finally getting caught up on all of their work.  And it has almost all been billing and accounting issues and OMG how I hate anything having to do with math.  So basically my job is SO MUCH FUN this week. 

I also have had no internet service at home so I haven’t been able to blog from there either.  I replaced my wireless router a couple of months ago and I replaced the cable modem this week.  It still won’t work.  Because technology hates me. 

And guess what?  Just guess!  While in the middle of typing the above paragraph, at 3:00 in the afternoon, I was just told I have to send out 55 more packages before I leave at 5:30 tonight.  I wish this was a joke but it's so not.  So I will try to work on my internet at home again tonight.  And then I will try to blog again tomorrow if that doesn’t work and that is hopefully when I will finally (FINALLY!) announce the winners of the Music Monday contest on, you know, Friday.  Because I have to go send out more stupid overnight packages.  I HATE EVERYTHING!!