Gay and Gray

Yesterday was the seventh anniversary of the day I managed to drag myself off the sofa and drive to Barnes and Noble to meet Hot Brazilian for the first time.  As most of you know, Hot Brazilian and I are living in different countries right now so we could not go out and celebrate.  Do y'all know what I did?

I found myself a hot date and went to dinner last night!

That's right.  I went to dinner with Fay!

We originally planned to go last week but Fay dumped me for her mom and rescheduled.  We decided to go to a staple of Atlanta which opened way the heck back in 1927:  The Colonnade. 


Otherwise known as Gay and Gray. 

I learned that in person last night and I read it on the internet today.  Some people call it "God's Waiting Room" as well.  If you are ever in Atlanta and feeling old, go to The Colonnade and if you are under 90 you will be the youngest person in the place and feel much better about yourself - especially if you get there for the early bird special which Fay and I did.  I think all that means is that I got a free piece of butterscotch pie which we could not even eat because we were so stuffed from all of the food they give you.

It is also full of groups of fabulous gay men. So this is pretty much my dream place to eat.  Surrounded by fabulous gay men and I look really young?  Win win.

I do not know how I've lived in Atlanta for 45 years and never been to The Colonnade.  But I can assure you I will go back.  As soon as you step through the front door you feel like you've traveled back in time to the 70s because of the decor.

There were a couple of things I didn't tell Fay last night.  The first thing is that I got lost trying to find it.  I knew exactly how to get to Cheshire Bridge Road from my office but I was so busy looking at the fabulous Onyx club which is across the street that I completely missed it and drove almost to Lavista before I realized I had missed the restaurant.  Onyx is a strip club y'all.  The Colonnade is right in the middle of sex shop, tattoo parlor, and strip club central which is what makes it just that much more fabulous.

Do you know what else makes it fabulous?  The side dishes:

Seriously, y'all.  They offer tomato aspic and cottage cheese & peaches as side dishes. 

I did not get tomato aspic or cottage cheese & peaches as my side dishes.  Mostly because the only part of any of that I might have enjoyed would be the peaches.  I got onion rings and macaroni and cheese because I'm trying to lose some weight.  Fay got a salad and fried okra if y'all are keeping score.

This reminds me of one time when my dad invited us over for dinner and this was not too long after he had started dating the lady he eventually married a few years ago, who then turned it out be evil to us after my dad died last year.  But at this point we still thought she was sweet.  My dad went on and on about what a fantastic cook she is and my brother and his family and I were kind of excited to eat her cooking.  She came to my dad's house and said she was making her specialty:  fried chicken.

Y'all.

I could hardly chew it she had overcooked it so much and it was so salty.  And she served as a side dish a lettuce leaf with cottage cheese and pears on it.  She also had brought over some sodas and my niece took a drink of hers and said it tasted weird.  She looked at the bottom of the can and it had an expiration date of about 4 or 5 years prior.

And that's when I knew my dad was so in love his taste buds had died or something.

Anyway, when Fay and I first sat down in The Colonnade last night I looked across the room and there was a guy at a table and I thought from the side of his face that it was a guy I work with.  But then when he got up and left later I realized it wasn't anyone I knew.

So the other thing I didn't tell Fay is that when we got up to leave there were two men sitting at a table diagonally from us and I know I knew one of them from somewhere but I have been trying to figure out since last night how I know him.  I still can't figure it out.  I don't know if it's someone I actually know or if it's someone who is on TV or something.  But since I already thought I knew the other guy I didn't want Fay to think I thought I knew someone else so I didn't say anything to her.  I wish I had just asked that guy who he was though because it is driving me crazy today. 

Not too long after we arrived, a table full of little old ladies next to us started getting ready to leave and Fay and I loved this lady's shiny fur coat:

After Fay and I ate so much we couldn't breathe, we walked out to the parking lot and I decided to take a photo of the sign to show y'all.  My picture was terrible so the one below is the photo Fay took and texted to me.  Right as I took my picture, some random guy had walked up behind us without me knowing it and he looked over my shoulder asking, "Did you get a good photo?  Oh.  You need to center it a little more."  Thank you, stranger.  For scaring the bejesus out of me and telling me my photo was bad.

Fay's husband often goes to a restaurant near my house to play games.  So Fay and I are going to have another hot date soon and go there but I think we will play cards (Hand and Foot).  She'll probably kick my arse.

Anyway, Fay and I hugged a few times which is more action than I've had in a while and then we got in our cars and went our separate ways.  About half-way home I suddenly had to pee so bad I was scared I was going to have to pull over.  But I soldiered on.  I was about two blocks from my house and I think one of the 90+ year olds from The Colonnade was driving in front of me because they were going about 15 mph and I was screaming bad words because I was really scared I was going to pee myself.

I finally got to my house and I pulled in my driveway, stopped at my front porch instead of going all the way behind my house to the garage, jumped out, ran inside and set my alarm off trying to get to the toilet in time.  And then my toilet wouldn't flush so now I have something else to fix at my house.

Anyway, thanks for being my hot date, Fay!  You give good hugs!