Help!

I didn't post yesterday because this is what my day consisted of:

Ring, ring, ring.

"Help Desk, this is _________ speaking."

Me:  "HHHHHHEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!"

Anytime I can have THREE people in our IT department admit defeat after I have spent approximately 2.5 hours on the phone with them logged in with me working on a document is a day when I don't feel like such an idiot.  Because I had already tried to figure this document catastrophe out by myself, but after spending a couple of hours at my desk cursing under my breath, I called in for help.  Our trainer, who I've never known to not be able to figure out how to fix something, said this document was not fixable (it was what I call a Frankenstein document - my boss had cut and pasted parts of documents from attorneys here, from the client, from documents on the internet, and had revised it repeatedly over the course of a month, the client had made revisions, etc. and then I was given the fun task of formatting the entire thing and creating a Table of Contents).  Between that and having a billing deadline with approximately 20 gazillion clients with 20 gazillion bills each, I did not have time to post.  And you can imagine I was in a good mood too.

Before I go on with my post for today (which at this point I have no clue what I'm going to write about), let's talk about the salad dressing I drank because two of you asked what kind of salad dressing I drank like that is the important thing.  The important part of the story is that it was disgusting to take a giant gulp of salad dressing when you're expecting a sweet and creamy gulp of iced coffee.  But the truth is, I don't even know what kind of salad dressing I drank. 

We have lots of breakfast and lunch meetings in our office and there are lots of leftovers around here which is why it's a good thing I don't normally go to lunch until 1:00 or 1:30 because I get free lunch a lot.  And sometimes there are TONS of leftovers so we get free lunch and then put some up for the next day too or, as was the case this time, I was in the middle of eating my lunch I brought from home when the leftovers were brought in the break room so I got some salad to save for the next day's lunch.  The salad and dressing were from Maggiano's and I had put some dressing in a cup so that I wasn't Miss Piggy of the law firm by taking the entire container.  It was kind of beige/off-white in color and creamy but it was not a typical ranch, blue cheese, etc.  It was something I've never had before and it was not good to gulp straight from a cup, however, it was quite delicious on my salad once I finally ate it the correct way.

And guess what I just ran and got.  More free salad.  It's Caesar with Caesar dressing and I've already put the dressing on my salad since I'm going to eat it in about an hour so I won't be drinking it today.  I think it's important that y'all know I'm not going to make salad dressing gulping a habit.

Also, y'all discussed my garage door remote situation.  Sara with your h, I can buy a remote that attaches to my key chain and program it to go with my existing opener? Even if I'm the most technology challenged person on planet Earth?  Where do I buy one?  And Anita, you're not dreaming.  I did get a new keypad installed to open and close my garage, but my hands were too full to hold the remote and they were also too full to slide open a cover and punch buttons on a key pad.

One more thing y'all asked about in the comments is if I have tried melatonin (I just typed melanoma at first and no, I haven't tried skin cancer to cure insomnia) or Mid-Nite for my sleeping issues.  And the answer is yes.  I've tried Mid-Nite, Calms Forte, melatonin, Ambien, Tylenol PM, Advil PM, store brand PM, two different natural products my mom uses but I can't remember the names of either of them, and my doctor has tried putting me on anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants and neither of those phased me.  Well, the anti-depressants phased me but not in the area of my lack of sleep.  They made me lose all sense of balance to the point that I would be walking down the hall and fall down for no reason (and let's face it, I don't need any help falling down since I fell and broke my arm twice in a year without being on any meds at all) and they made me drive like a maniac and know it but I could not stop myself from going 30 - 40 miles over the speed limit and cutting and weaving in and out of traffic closely in front of people on the expressway, so that was a very short six week experiment that failed miserably and almost made me injure myself or someone else.  I've tried cutting out all caffeine.  I've tried exercising.  I've tried meditating and do y'all know what I suck at?  Meditating.  I went to a counselor to "talk about things" and "share my feelings" to see if I just had too much crap bottled up inside (which I do, but spending all that money talking about my crap each week for over a year didn't help me sleep either).  I've tried not watching TV or looking at electronics for a certain amount of time before bed.  I've bought new pillows.  I've sprayed stuff in my room with lavender and chamomile.  I've drank chamomile.  Hot showers.  Hot baths.  I've even bought a new bed.  Nothing works.

So basically, I just get by on 3 or 4 hours total of broken up bits of sleep (and that's on a good night) and I read a whole lot of books in the middle of the night.  Reading does put me to sleep fairly quickly, but I don't stay asleep for very long.  Sometimes I'll stay asleep for an hour, sometimes only 15 or 20 minutes.  But if y'all can think of anything else to try, I am game.  I never had sleeping issues in my life until I went through my divorce.  So I blame my ex-husband for this.  Along with a bunch of other stuff (see above re: bottled up crap).

Well, look at that.  I didn't know what to write about but I think this is long enough.  Long enough to make y'all think I'm insane anyway.