Hey, I'm not sure if y'all have heard or not, but it's been cold this week.
Today I have been printing my little heart out at work. Seriously. For the past 3.5 hours I've been hitting print, rolling back across my cubicle to the printer, pulling crap off the printer. Repeat approximately 843045843594359 times. I've been listening to music for a lot of the time and, because I try hard not to be an asshole, I've been using headphones since I am surrounded by other people in cubicles and they may not want to listen to Run DMC, James Brown, Michael Franti, Donovan Frankenreiter, Deee-Lite, Citizen Cope, Paolo Nutini, etc. It got very scary for a moment when Lily Allen's "F**k You" was blasting and I pulled a little too far backwards and I pulled the headphone wire out of my computer. And it happened again when James Brown was wanting to "Get Up Offa That Thing."
And as I sat here printing and printing and printing, I thought to myself a few times that this is not at all what I thought I'd be doing with my life when I was struggling through completely unnecessary college classes such as Geology (because I have never needed to know what rocks are made of while working here at my law firm) or Algebra or that horrid Biology lab I had to take dealing with fruit flies. And don't even get me started on the Animal Psychology lab I took when I had to decide if horses have best friends and go to the bookstore and buy a sheep brain and keep it in my refrigerator at home with a note on it for my roommates that said "DO NOT EAT. THIS IS A SHEEP BRAIN IN HERE" and study whether worms give off pheromones to try and get sexy time with other worms. I mean, I didn't think I'd ever do anything dealing with rocks, math, fruit flies or dissecting brains either, but I certainly didn't think I was suffering through that crap so that 20+ years later I could sit in a cubicle and print 4 reams of paper in an afternoon on a regular basis.
So then I started daydreaming about what I would do if I won a bazillion dollars in the lottery.
First of all, I wouldn't sit in a cubicle and print crap all day anymore.
And this is where y'all are going to realize what a selfish person I am when I tell you the kind of stuff I would do if I had an almost unlimited supply of money.
I would hire a doctor to give me drugs every night to help me sleep. But not Propofol like Michael Jackson. I am tired all of the time. I want to sleep. And I would sleep late every single day.
I would hire a personal assistant to do all of the crap I hate doing - grocery shopping, filling out forms, laundry, sorting my mail, making appointments, etc. (If I ever win the lottery I would advise none of you to apply because you would hate everything I asked you to do.)
I would travel all over the world: Iceland (yes, I've always wanted to go there), Holland, France, Spain, England, South Africa, New Zealand, and on and on.
I would try to bribe some government officials to let Hot Brazilian get around the pesky Visa issues he's dealing with so he can get back here and then travel all over with me. I think I would. I'm a little perturbed with him right now and I don't want to talk about it. But if I get over being perturbed with him I would do this.
Okay, I just took a potty break and saw myself in the mirror so I need to add that I would hire a makeup artist and hair stylist to make me look at least half-way presentable each day.
I would loan some money to my family and friends but I'm sorry, I'm not going to completely support you. Go win your own lottery, okay?
I would give quite a bit of money to my cousin with an autistic son to pay for intense therapy he needs but which they cannot afford.
I would do a good bit of volunteer work - soup kitchens, homeless shelters, etc. I would love to say I'd help out at animal shelters, but I'm deathly allergic to dogs. I'll give them some money though.
I'd spend a lot of time painting and I'd buy a huge studio instead of the bedroom I use now. Yes, I do feel blessed that I even have a bedroom devoted to art, but I'd love to have a space I can get all messy in and drip paint on the floor and not worry about it.
I'd probably stay in my current house. But I'd add a covered area on my back deck because it is way to hot and sunny in the summer out there, I'd put screens on all of my windows so that I can open them and enjoy cool fall days and evenings, and I'd have all of my plumbing and electric replaced so I could cut down on the ongoing repairs I deal with.
I think I'd also buy a place in New York City.
I WOULD HIRE A FULL-TIME CHEF. Oh, how I don't cook.
So basically, I want to live like I'm pretty sure the Kardashians live although I've never watched their show and I could be really wrong. Except I do not want a camera following me around like them.
What would y'all do if you had unlimited money? I'm guessing it would probably be way less selfish stuff than me.
Deb in Denver, I will answer your question about Bailey and her poop tomorrow. I ran out of time today!
And I know this is a stupid post, but I'm writing this in a huge rush, y'all. If I won the lottery I wouldn't have to do that.
I'm not sure what I would do.....but I know what I would NOT do. I would not stay in my current home. I would move to a nice warm tropical something where my biggest decision of the day would be which swimsuit to put on to walk the beach. Every. Blasted. Day. Can you tell I'm a bit over this weather?
ReplyDeleteDon't be fooled: I would do a LOT of stuff JUST FOR ME AND T. Like pay off our student loans, buy land north of NYC, and have our dream house built. I'd buy us a camper van, and we would do ALL of the domestic traveling. Then we'd go on cruises all over the world. Because we have worked too hard all of our adult lives to not be able to do those things. Life isn't fair.
ReplyDeleteTravel would be in my future. After that, I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteI would buy a nice (but modest) house and immediately hire someone to maintain the lawn and gardens. I would never mow again. Ever. I wouldn't necessarily want a cook or housekeeper, but I definitely want a lawn guy. (Or gal. Don't mean to be sexist.) I might putter in the flowerbeds from time to time for fun, but lawn person would be responsible for weeding.
ReplyDeleteThen I'd start myself a theatre company (which only produced shows starring me, of course) and spend my free time saving all the animals.
I had thought of a little vacation penthouse in NYC, but maybe I could just come visit you in yours. :)
I would hire a manager to take care of life's mundanities.
ReplyDeleteI would buy a private jet share.
I would endow a scholarship for my extended family and all their many children.
I would pour enormous amounts of money into spay and neuter programs for animals.
I would travel, travel, travel.
I hope you don't stop blogging when you win the lottery.
ReplyDeleteHummmm? What would I do with my lottery win?
Give lots of money to charities we currently support.
Buy 100 acres and build basically the house I have now. I don't want a huge house, just something cozy and practical, but I would have a huge kitchen (not that I would cook anymore).
Buy my brother a nice place in St. Augustine and set him up an annuity so he could retire.
Pay off my sister-in-law's student loans.
Hire someone to take care of my mom 24/7 to keep her in her home the rest of her life.
Give my nephews new, cool vehicles.
Give a good friend that doesn't have a vehicle a new one.
Pay for my great niece's college education (she's 2 now).
Pay off my niece's student loans.
Hire a secretary.
Hire a housekeeper.
Hire a chef, who would do all the grocery shopping as well.
Have lots of parties.
I don't want to win so much that my name would be in the paper and I'd need bodyguards. Just $500,000 would be plenty. I'd keep working, cause what else would I do all day? I'd pay off my house and pay both my kids' ways through college, and give them the down payments for their own homes.
ReplyDeleteI would quit my job, start my own daycare. I would built a nice house with a huge craftroom. Give my family some money to help, especially my parents. I would only ever fly business or first class to visit my family and to travel all over the world. My first vacation would be somewhere warm and by the beach, where I could drink cocktails all day and read under a big umbrella by the water. Twice a day I would get massages.
ReplyDeleteOh! I like Tammi Ten's thing of funding spay and neuter programs. Basically I would put all my wealth to good work making interest so that my only requirement in life would be to give away money to orgs close to my heart...domestic violence, substance abuse, animal rescue and spay and neuter, anti-bullying, suicide prevention, gender fluidity awareness. I would look at investing as a job and make certain I gave away all my money before I died.
ReplyDeleteThe spell caster who helped me to get my lover back,(igberasespelltemple@yahoo.com) I looked so surprised,cried out loudly,wiped day and night, have sleepless night sevrally, thinking that i have lost Avila Rudy my lover, my boyfriend,my soul mate,forever after 2years of Relationship, but it all come to me as a dream that i was still able to be with him and he is with me for good, for love, for care,and i am so happy, and i thank the powerful spell caster who helped me out in getting and acheiving these great joy and happiness,Dr Igberase of igberasespelltemple@yahoo.com,indeed Dr you are powerful,although i doubted these at forst stage but you still make it real to me and i am happy today and i say thanks be to you and i promised to always share your good and how powerful you are around the world and in the internet,Dr Igberase is a good and helping spell caster who help to get Ex lover or lost Husband, if you need a spell caster that can help you with your lost lovers Kindly email Dr Igberase on his email.(igberasespelltemple@yahoo.com) thanks so much Dr for your help amd wonderful thing you have done for me,yours Daughter, Alicia Weaver From Alabama Usa
ReplyDeleteMy name is Sharon Johnson and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful Dr uko a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started nine months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 19th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over five years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through hell. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet a spell caster i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a week my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily and i still do contact him on this email:ukospelltemple@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteI AM BELA i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to DR.utimate who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last week will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get this boy back to my life because i love this boy with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to DR.utimate and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address:utimatespellhome@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteHere is my testimony i have been palying lottery for three years and i have not winning, The last time i won big was 5000USD and that was a year ago but last week a friend of my introduced me to a spell caster from africa and i was told that he can help me through the use of traditional voodoo i did not believe it and i say let me just give a try to know how real it . My friend the spell caster told me to get the ticket and play the lottery and i won $107million now my name is all over the globe in the virgina lottery win there is nofin i can do much than to thank Dr UKO of ukospelltemple@yahoo.com cause he alone i believe can make you win. I promise that i will make people know about him and that is what i am doing online now contact him today and be happy ukospelltemple@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteDr Danbaba just help me to bring back my ex lover, if you are in the same problem, you can contact him via email templeofsolution1010@gmail.com of phone number +2348112252735.
ReplyDeleteBe careful here nobody can help you here or even suggest how you can get your ex or love back,any testimonies of most spell caster here must be ignore.because most of them are scam i mean real scam which i was a victim and i got ripped of thousands of dollars because i was so anxious to get my wife back after she left me for over 2 years with my 7 years old son jerry,i have applied to 7 different spell caster here and all to no avail they all ask for same thing send your name your ex name address and picture phone number etc which i did over and over again and most of them were from west Africa until i saw a post about mama Anita spell and i decided to gave her my last trail.she ask me four things my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and $180 and said my ex will come back in 24hours, i have paid over $3000 on spell casting and courier and nothing have work for me after 3 days i was thinking about how much i have lost so far so i said let me give her a try so i called her again and send my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and the $180 because i swear it was my last try so i was waiting as she told me to wait till next day and i could not sleep that night because i really love my wife and want her back at 9pm that day i saw my wife on line on face book and she said hi at first i was shock because she never talk with me for the past a year and 9 month now i did not reply again she said are you there? i quickly reply yes and she said can we see tomorrow i said yes and she went off-line i was confused i try to chat her again but she was no more on line i could not sleep that night as i was wondering what she is going to say, by 7.am the next morning she gave me a miss call i decided not to call back as i was still on shock again she call and i pick she said can we see after work today i said yes so she end the call immediately i got off work she call me and we meet and now we are back again i call mama anita the next day thanking her for what she has done in fact i still call her and thank her as my life was not complete without my wife please be careful here i have been scam thousands of dollars if you want a true love spell then contact mama Anita (mama.anitatruelovespell@gmail.com)
ReplyDeleteMy name is Adrain walcult I live in United States. I am happily married with two kids and a beautiful wife but something terrible happened to my family along the line, I lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because I was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. I manage all through for four years until I cannot cope with the situation again, so I searched on the internet for any help about getting back my family and job, but I came across so many testimonies, so I decided to Try Dr. Bacasim of (pristbacasim@gmail.com who attended to me and instructed me on things to do which I did with faith and within 12 hours, my office called and gave me back my work on that same day, my wife came back with my kids and apologized for her actions.
ReplyDeleteMy name is John Sheri i'm from California i have been married for 4years and i have a break up with my husband 3months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster Dr. Laco and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i should come back to the house. i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy. All Thanks to him and if you also want to have your Husband back to yourself here !! his email Address lacopowerfulspellcaster@yahoo.com i am so happy to testify of your work and kindness
ReplyDeleteI want to use this medium to tell the world about Doctor Jatto who helped me in getting my lover back with his powerful spell, my ex and i where having misunderstanding which led to our breakup though i went to beg her several times to please forgive and accept me back because i know i offended her but each time i went i always feel more deeply in pain and agony because she always walk out on me and would not want to listen to what i have to tell but on i faithful day as i was browsing i came arose a testimony of a woman whose problem was more than mine and yet Doctor Jatto helped her with his spell so i was happy and also contacted Doctor Jatto for help via email and then told him my story but the only thing he said was that i will wipe you tear with my spell so lucky for me everything want well just as he promised and right now i have got my fiance back and we are both living happily. there is nothing Doctor Jatto can not do with is spell and just as promise my self i will keep testifying on the internet of how Doctor Jatto helped me.Are your problem greater that mine or less i give you 100% guarantee that Doctor Jatto will put an end to it with his powerful spell, contact Doctor Jatto for help Via email drjattosplltemple@gmail.com
ReplyDelete1. GETTING YOUR EX LOVER BACK.
2. WINNING LOTTERIES.
3. CHILD BEARING.
4. BREAKING OF GENERATION COURSE.
5. GETTING OF JOB.
6. JOB PROMOTION.
7. MONEY SPELL.
8. SPIRITUAL PROTECTION.
9. HERBAL CARE.
10. BEAUTY SPELL.
GREAT SPELL CASTER THAT HELP ME TO BRING MY HUSBAND BACK TO ME AGAIN
ReplyDeleteMy husband Left me and my two kids for a new woman 12 years after our marriage. Then i was totally devastated and cried all day and night for aid. My Love life completely turned out to be a mess, because i couldn't just carry on with it anymore.. I was at the point of doing whatever thing that will save my Marriage and make him mine again, because i knew he was my soul mate and i fell deeply in love with him. We were both head over heels and over the moon for one another, and his feelings for me was so strong and he promised me love eternal. Life and pressure got in the way about two weeks before our marriage anniversary, And was pressured by his found new love to divorce me, and forced me to sign the divorce papers after seeing the attorney.. For weeks after our divorce he still remained in contacts with me, and after some times he no longer (calls non texts) anymore. So i had no other choice than to cry out for help to Voodoo Doctor a spell caster i found online, so he assured me positive result after 24 hours.. For the first time in 12 months my ex husband did called me for apologies, and he felt so sorry and remorseful for ever leaving me, and he told me how much he love and miss me. And this spells made me so unique in the Sight of my husband, and did open his eyes and made him remember why and how we fell in love in the first place..Thank you for your help! From the depth of my heart of hearts I know we are meant to your spell really helped me. Contact Dr Arley Spell Home at { dr.arleyspellcaster@gmail.com } or call him { +2347036123581 } he will help you end your worries.