Drinking. You know the usual: beer, margaritas, and cleaning supplies.

Did everyone have a great holiday weekend?  I did.  I did nothing remotely related to normal Memorial Day things, but it was a great weekend.

Friday night I had physical therapy because I'm a barrel of fun on Friday nights of a holiday weekend.  One of the techs offered me a piece of rum cake.  I declined because I'm thinking I should seem like I'm into healthy stuff when I'm working out at a doctorish type office.  If by working out you mean lifting a broom stick over my head and getting an arm massage.  Dudes, the massage sounds good, right?  No.  It's the part I dread the most.  It hurts.  Those therapists don't mess around.  My therapist also has told me that I'm going to be a huge challenge for her because I have one of the tightest arm muscles she's ever run across.  Trust me, you do not want to be the challenging patient when it comes to massaging your arm that was recently broken in four places.  And then they drape you in an ice blanket and you know how sometimes something is so incredibly cold that it feels like it's burning your skin off?  Yeah.  That's what the end of therapy is like.  My skin is bright red when they take the blanket off.  And each time I've been in there, someone is complaining about how horrible and painful the ice is.  (I know, woe is me.  I'm being hurt by ice.  But seriously?  It does hurt.)  Anyway, cake.  I turned down the cake because I don't think rum or cake fit into the category of healthy.  Plus I don't really like rum cake.

After PT, I ran across the street to Cost Plus World Market.  Well, I didn't exactly run.  I drove my car because it's a super busy road and I don't like to get hit by cars.  I assume.  Do they have those in your area?  They have everything from candles to furniture to baskets to wine and beer.  Quite a few of the lighting fixtures I put in my house are from there.  But Friday night I went in there to pick up a birthday card because my younger brother's birthday is tomorrow.  I still haven't mailed it, but at least I bought one.  If you don't have one near you, World Market is one of those places you go in to buy one inexpensive thing but it winds up costing you a whole lot because you see so many things you "need".  So my brother's birthday card ended up costing me over $50.

I was browsing in the food section because they always have interesting stuff that I sometimes buy even though I don't need it, and that's when I saw this on the shelf:

Crap.  I can't figure out how to rotate this.  Beverly.  Taking photography lessons from June since today.

If you don't feel like turning your head or your neck is aching today or whatever, that is a picture of bacon flavored syrup.  Bacon.  Flavored.  Syrup.  What on earth would you use that on or in?  I'm sad to say that I didn't spend $7 on a bottle of bacon flavored syrup because I have no answer to that question. 

I then saw a display with other flavored syrups and the suggestion of mixing them with sparkling mineral water.  I hate drinking regular water (HATE) but I love sparkling mineral water.  Yes I know it tastes the same.  The bubbles just make it more fun, okay?  I need fun water because all of the yard work I've been doing makes me cranky.  The water breaks I take should have some redeeming quality to them and drinking boring plain water is not redeeming to me in the least.  I looked at all of the flavor options (passion fruit, hibiscus, etc. (they were not suggesting bacon for mixing with sparkling water - thank goodness because that sounds vomit inducing)) and I chose blue raspberry.  Mostly because I've never tasted hibiscus but I know what a raspberry tastes like.  Turns out this syrup didn't taste much like raspberry.  And it's blue (which? dudes, that was right in the name so I should have known).  My glass looked like it was full of Windex and no matter what it tasted like I could only think I was drinking Windex.  So I still wasted $7 on a crazy flavored syrup.  But I will use it for a practical joke on someone at some point.  I think I'll take a giant swig and then act like I'm not able to breathe and start foaming at the mouth or something.  Does anyone know if that's what happens when you drink Windex?  I need to be authentic.  Please get back to me on this.  It's important y'all.  I can't be incorrectly sick when I drink my fake Windex. 

Do you know what else I bought?  No, probably not, because none of you were with me.  I bought a six pack of beer.  I have had exactly one beer since my divorce which was 8 years ago.  We had some sort of international/diversity thing here at my law firm and they offered food and beers from all over the world (I told y'all we booze it up here quite often).  Since I'm dating Hot Brazilian, I decided to try a Brazilian beer.  I sat at my desk and got drunk off of one beer and then had to work late so I could drive home.  You should probably be happy I was not working on an agreement for you that day with my drunk self.

Anyway, a girl in the physical therapy office was talking about going to a beer festival this weekend for a local brewery and I suddenly started craving beer like I would die if I didn't have one soon.  Isn't that weird?  And when I went into World Market, they carried beer from that very brewery so I bought some.  I drank two of them this weekend and honestly?  They weren't that good.  I drank one Saturday night and thought, "meh.  That wasn't very good."  So I had another one on Sunday and thought, "that was even worse."  So the other 4 will probably still be in my fridge if you come over in 2023. 

Other parts of my weekend included (1) buying new dining room furniture from a very interesting salesman which I may tell y'all about tomorrow (he made me very angry and cracked me up at the same time); (2) eating a quesadilla, fried plantains, green beans and pineapple at a Chinese restaurant, (3) MORE yard work; (4) a hippie getting me drunk at a Mexican restaurant (I very rarely drink although I've had 2 beers, 2 glasses of wine and half a pitcher of margaritas in the past week which makes me sound like I have a problem.  Honestly, that's more than I've drank in the past 2 or 3 years combined.  Physical therapy is making me tense y'all.); and (5) my air conditioning went out in the downstairs of my house and it's about 90 degrees here.

Oh, someone a couple of days ago asked me to post a picture of my crazy cat, Bailey.  So here she is:

Hello.  I am Bailey.  I seem to be having no problem making myself comfortable in the bay window.  I am spoiled and have my own napping blanket.  And your stupid camera is interrupting my nap, mom.  Go away.

What's that?  You can't see my beautiful face?  Here you go.  And then please leave me alone.  Seriously.  I'm getting way behind on my naps.



To summarize, I need y'all to tell me what bacon flavored syrup is good for and what happens when you drink Windex.  If you have good suggestions, I may spend $7 on the syrup and report back.  I'm almost flat broke right now, but bacon flavored syrup seems like it would be worth spending my last few bucks on.   Not because I'm just curious what bacon syrup is like.  It's for y'all.  Obviously.  It's because I'm so giving.

Also, I have to tell y'all how my dentist has been out of work for almost a year and his fill-in tried to kill me with a pair of tweezers this morning.