I'm full of sap and mush in this one

Well y'all.  I didn't exactly get around to posting this weekend even though I said I might.  I'm just no June Gardens with her blog dedication, am I?  (It did make me feel a little better to see she didn't blog this weekend either.)

Saturday I left at 10:00 a.m. to go out to my dad's house and I was there until almost 5:00 p.m.  Y'all, his wife is so sad and it breaks my heart to see her crying, packing up her things to move at almost 80 years of age (my dad was 72 - she's a bit older than he was), being scared about her future, missing my dad SO much (he was the love of her life even though they had only been married 2 years), but also being angry with him and feeling deceived over the complete financial mess he left us to deal with, leaving her with absolutely nothing, etc.  We had my dad cremated because she wanted to have his ashes buried with her.  Now she says she can't even bear to have the urn with her and seeing it every single day will prevent her from ever being able to get over his death.  She wants my brothers and I to have his remains and she wants us to spread at least a portion of his ashes on our biological mom's grave so we will have our parents back together again.  I don't know when I'll be able to handle that.  I've told her we don't have to decide that kind of stuff immediately and she should take some time to think about it.  She says her mind is more than made up.  She feels my dad would want his three children to have his remains.  Is it weird that I don't think I can handle having his ashes in my house either?  Because I really don't think I can. 

After I left my dad's house, I met my sister-in-law and niece for dinner over an hour away from my house, stopped at the grocery store on the way home where I saw a poor man knock over an entire shelf of jars of crushed garlic (breaking many of them), and didn't get home until about 9:00.  I could still smell garlic for hours.  Yesterday I cooked all of my lunches and dinners for the week, did a tiny bit of yard work, a tiny bit of house cleaning, and some laundry.

Then I picked up a paint brush for the first time since I broke my arm over 7 months ago.  My soul needed some therapy in a very bad way.  A blank canvas, some paint, and a few brushes is the best therapy I've ever found in my life.  I'm painting a piece with butterflies - one large butterfly representing my dad and three small ones representing my two brothers and I - because butterflies are such a great symbol of resurrection, transition, lightness, and I've heard some cultures think of them as returning souls of the deceased.  I'm painting them because of all those things and as a symbol that our family is now going through a transformation and a change to a life without my dad.  Butterflies seem to dance as they move through the air which reminds me to get up and move and to work towards feeling joy and lightness again.  Also, I have seen what I think is the same butterfly in my front yard repeatedly since the week my dad passed away.  (Is this enough cheese for one post?  I think so.)

And that was pretty much my weekend in a nutshell.  Super exciting, huh?

Let's move on to Music Monday.

We began looking through my dad's stuff this weekend and making some plans for which pieces, stuff, etc. we are going to keep and what we are going to sell to pay towards my dad's funeral, etc.  My dad was a professional photographer and his basement is full of photography equipment so our theme for this week is:  Photography!  The song(s) you submit must contain a word in the title associated with photography (photograph, picture, film, camera, lens, etc.)  As ususal, I have a few songs in mind but can't wait to see what y'all come up with!