Please send paper towels. I've almost run out.

Oh.  Hello there, blog I seem to have abandoned for a week.

Y'all, I'm sorry.  I really am.  I cannot seem to get everything done lately but I promise I try and I am really, really, really going to try and do better.  In fact, I may go ahead and write some posts tonight to have "on hold" for this week in case I have another week like last one.  But honestly, you would not have wanted me to blog last week to update you on what was going on.  Because this is how it would have been:

Went to work.

Went to physical therapy.

Went to the grocery store.

Went to the gas station.

That's how exciting the first few days were, y'all.  Then my dad's wife called one night and was all sad and wanted to talk and reminisce and cry and then I got all depressed and stuff.  I didn't feel like blogging when I was all depressed and stuff.  Then I had some completely unexpected company from out of town come and stay with me and believe me when I say they would not know what a blog is.  I would have had to try and explain why I had to go type some stuff on my computer to some people I've met in real life and some people I've never met in real life and all about June and how I threw a birthday party at my house for her even though I've never met her and that's not even her real name, and how I started this blog because we thought June was going to stop her blog and we're all friends even though most of us have never met in real life, but then June didn't stop her blog and, OMG I'm exhausted just thinking about trying to explain all of this to someone who doesn't know what a blog is.  So I didn't blog.

But then.  Then I was definitely going to blog on Saturday.  I was also going to go work for free at my office all day on Saturday (long story) but neither of these things happened.  Because my cat is an asshole.  An asshole with a sensitive stomach.

My plan was make myself some scrambled eggs, sit on the front porch with a steaming cup of coffee for 10 or 15 minutes to enjoy the gorgeous, cool, crisp Fall morning, then take a shower and go to the office.  And blog when I got home Saturday evening.  Instead, as I was scrambling my eggs, Bailey was running through the house like her butt was on fire.  Then she ran (sliding around the corner) into the living room and I suddenly heard the unmistakable noise she makes when she is preparing to barf.  I walked in to make sure she didn't run to the front door to puke on the rug which she usually does, and I don't know if I scared her or she just wasn't finished running like a maniac through the house, but just as she started puking, she started running.  So I had a 6 foot long trail of cat vomit all the way from one side of my living room to the other.  Which?  You know.  That's just about as awesome as it sounds.  Bailey ALWAYS throws up in 3 spots.  So then she ran to the doorway of the dining room for her second, um, "gift".   Oddly, I thought that was it because then she went and jumped in the bay window and promptly fell asleep like she was cool.

I was wrong.

So, so, so wrong.

I finished making breakfast, sat at the island so my back was to all of the disgustingness going on in the living room and ate my eggs.  Then I grabbed a roll of paper towels and got to work.  As I was cleaning up my ENTIRE living room floor (stupid running cat), I thought to myself that my floors really needed me to take the steam mop to them.  So I cleaned up the two "gifts", then walked out on the porch to have my coffee.  As I sat there cussing to myself about my cat, I decided I would grab the throw rug out of the downstairs bathroom to take up to the laundry, and that on Sunday I would wash all of the throw rugs in the house and steam mop the floors.  Since it was Saturday and I had plans to go to the office.  As I walked to the bathroom, I glanced into the sunroom.

There was her third gift for me.  Right next to the leg of a wicker chair.

I moved the chair so I could clean up yet more cat puke and that's when I discovered another gift.  Only this one had been hidden and was old and really gross.  And I knew there were two more somewhere just like it.  There were.  Behind another chair. 

So I finished cleaning up 6 disgusting gifts, and headed upstairs to the laundry with the bathroom rug and to take a shower and go to work for the day.

As I got to the top of the stairs I almost fainted.

Because that's where I discovered a gigantic pile of cat poo.  Let's just say her stools were loose and she didn't make it to the litter box in time.  And then she must have gotten some on a paw and decided to fling it off.  All over the door of my laundry closet.  All up the wall as high as the light switch.  All over the baseboards.  All over the floor.  It was every effin' where.  And all over the rug in front of her litter box.  O. M. G.  I could have killed her.  I know someone is going to question why I didn't rush to the vet because of all of the puking and pooping, but this was all because I changed her food this week.  Yes, when I change her food I mix them to gradually adjust her to a different food.  And usually that works.  But not always.  She has done this a couple of times in her 13 years and she's lucky she's so cute is all I can say.  After cleaning up all of that, I didn't have it in me to go to work.  So I steam mopped my floors which took hours.  And then I was in no mood to blog.

Sunday, I was still recovering and trying to decide if I still loved Bailey even a little bit.    I also did some work in the yard, did some more house cleaning, cooked my lunches and dinners for the week, and in between tried to keep up with all of the games I'm addicted to playing on my phone with some of y'all.  And didn't blog at all.

So let's get on to announcing the winners from last week's Music Monday contest and then get on to this week's.

First place is a tie:

Sadie!  For Duran Duran - Girls on Film

And Lisa Pie!  For Def Leppard - Photograph

Second place goes to:

Tee!  For Lady Gaga - Paparazzi

Third place goes to:

Scraps!  For Freeze Frame - J. Geils Band

And now let's move on to this week's theme.  Today there was a story which a couple of my friends posted on Facebook about Mitt Romney.  Apparently he was talking about his wife's plane having the electrical fire last week and having to make an emergency landing, how relieved he was that she was okay, etc.  But then he said this:

“I appreciate the fact that she is on the ground, safe and sound. And I don’t think she knows just how worried some of us were,” Romney said. “When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous. And she was choking and rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, there was enough oxygen for the pilot and copilot to make a safe landing in Denver. But she’s safe and sound.”

To which I say, "huh?"  No, Mitt, you can't roll down the windows on an airplane because, you know, everyone would die.

Here is a link to the article in case you think I'm making that up:  LA Times

So this week's theme is traveling and flying.  The song(s) you submit must contain a travel related word in the title (plane, fly, travel, suitcase, etc.).

And I promise I'm going to try to blog more.  And it won't all be about my asshole cat and her nastiness.  If she does that again, I'm going to roll down the window and throw her out on the street.  What do you mean I can't "roll" down the windows in my house?  I don't know why they don't do that.  It's a real problem.  (I'm just kidding, y'all.  I don't know what I'd do without my pain in the butt cat even when she's completely disgusting.  ALL over my house.)