I found chocolate. My coffee maker is dead. I wanted to punch a guy in his junk. That's the least interesting parts of the weekend.

I am exhausted.  Worn out.  Tired as heck.  I can barely walk.  My feet hurt.  My hips hurt.  My butt hurts.  My right hamstring hurts.

But I had a really great weekend full of fun friends and my older brother.

And there was a super annoying dude too. 

I'll blog about Saturday today.  And I'll save Sunday for tomorrow which was the more interesting day full of men dressed up like women (yes, I have pictures) and that's the day I went to a psychic. 

But first, I have to tell you what happened at Disco Kroger on Friday night.  Other than the part where I saw one of the attorneys from my office.  And really, I just left work 5 minutes earlier and I have to see attorneys still?

I eat fairly healthy, but there are a few things that I consume on a regular basis that are more the diet of an 8-year-old boy.  One of those things is that I have to have a glass of chocolate milk every morning and it can only be made with Nestle Quik.  This is because in high school we had someone from Consumer Reports magazine speak to us and the only two things I remember he said are that if a door has a gap under it that you can stand a dime up in, a giant rat can squeeze under it.  And the other thing is that Nestle Quik had the most stringent rules about how many insect parts are allowed to be in it and that a good bit of our food supply is allowed to have a certain percentage of bugs.  I know! Do you know packages of shredded cheese have wood chips in them to keep the cheese from sticking together?  I learned that from my brief Pampered Chef career.

So Friday night, I could not find the Nestle Quik in the Disco Kroger and there was going to be much disappointment in my life on Saturday morning if I didn't find it because I was out at home.  I saw an employee who was re-shelving stuff people had I assume taken to the check out and then changed their mind on.  I asked her if she would help me find the Nestle Quik.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Chocolate milk mix," I replied.

"Oh.  Okay.  I know where that is."

I followed her about 4 aisles over and she took me to the baking aisle and said, "It's right there," as she pointed at Hershey's cocoa powder.

"Um, not exactly what I was looking for.  I'm looking for the powder you make chocolate milk with.  Sort of like Carnation," I said. 

"Oh!  I know where that is."

She took me 3 aisles over and we walked along and I don't remember what was on that aisle, but it wasn't Nestle Quik.

"Well, I've only been here for 5 months and I'm still learning where stuff is," she said.  "I don't know where the chocolate milk stuff is though," she finally admitted.

I walked over one aisle and found it finally.  And why don't grocery store chains keep stuff in the same place in all of their stores?  It makes me crazy.  Anyway, as I was grabbing my sweet nectar of the gods, Nestle Quik, the lady happened to come down that aisle. 

"I found it!" I told her.

"Let me see.  Oh!  Chocolate milk mix.  That's what you were looking for?"

"Yes.  Chocolate milk mix as I had told you," I said.

Then she started tapping on her name badge and said, "Can you do me a favor?  Go to Kroger.com and recommend me by name and tell them I was very helpful to you.  I might win a giant television!  And you can get some coupons."

Yes.  Let me get right on that and tell them how helpful you were in dragging me all over the store and not knowing where stuff is. 

But Saturday I watched football.  Yes, I know.  I've told y'all I don't like sports and hate watching sports and yet I've spent 3 days in the past 3 weekends watching football.

The thing is, my neighbors are super fun to hang out with, but unfortunately for me, they are football watching fools.  They spend all day on Saturday watching college football and normally they spend all day Sunday watching pro football, but their team is playing in the Monday night game this week so we didn't watch football yesterday and instead I went to a psychic while they stood and waited.

The neighbors are HUGE fans of LSU.  My other neighbor, my brother, another guy and I are Georgia fans.  I am a graduate of UGA so I do pull for them even though I don't want to actually watch them.  And this weekend was the GA/LSU game so even though I don't keep up with football, I showed up dressed from head to toe in red and black and I brought a cake that said "Go Dawgs!" on it to irritate my neighbors.  Anyway, my neighbors pull their big screen TV out on the deck, the kids swim in the pool and the rest of us sit and eat and watch the game(s) and there is a lot of screaming and yelling and whatnot that goes on and even though I don't like watching sports, I always have fun.

The only downer this week was this annoying dude who was there.  My neighbors have a good friend and the annoying dude is a friend of his and has apparently attached himself to my neighbors.  Their friend was not even there, but his annoying friend showed up.  (Are y'all keeping up?)

The annoying dude thinks he's going to be a big time entrepreneur but in the meantime, he has no job and he has no money and no place to live.  So he moves from couch to couch and I threatened my neighbors if they ever tell him which house I live in.  He asks people to loan him money, he eats piles of whatever food you put down, and, oh yeah, he's a womanizer and a gigantic pig.  He sat next to my brother and my brother eventually came over and stood behind me and whispered in my ear that he was ready to punch him.

He showed up again (uninvited) on Sunday night when my brother and I went to my neighbors' house to eat dinner and the wife said as she put the food out and annoying dude was the first one to grab a plate and get in line, "Please remember there are 5 of us who need food so don't eat it all."  And when he went outside for a minute she snatched up all of the leftovers and put them in her fridge and told her husband that annoying dude was not allowed to take the leftovers to wherever he was staying that night because she was sick to death of him.

After the GA/LSU game was over, they watched some other games and I eventually walked home during that game because annoying dude was really getting on my nerves and I can only take so much football in one day.

And that's when I killed my coffee pot.

I walked in the kitchen and saw a huge bug on my counter, and it ran behind my coffee maker.  I grabbed a paper towel to snatch it up in, and went to move the coffee maker.  When I did, the bug came screaming across the counter towards me and I dropped the carafe onto my granite counters where it shattered into a million pieces.

The damn bug got away.

My ex-husband and I got married in 1998.  And I know I got this coffee maker 4 or 5 years before that, so maybe 1994-ish.  I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be too upset that I have to buy a new coffee maker finally.  Coffee ran down the side of that pot and all over the counter every single time you poured coffee out of it if you didn't remember to pour over the sink, so I'm actually not going to miss it too much.

Do y'all have recommendations for a new coffee maker?  I know we discussed this on June's blog at some point, but I was happy with my 20-year-old coffee maker so I didn't pay attention.