It's almost time to part-ay!

Okay boys and girls.  Actually, it’s probably only girls here, isn’t it?  I didn’t forget I had started a blog but I’ve been busy, y’all.  As you may know, last week I was in Texas and blogging from my phone.  Not fun.  So I didn’t do it much. 

To sum up Texas:  I’m not trying to offend anyone but I am not so much a fan.  It’s so, um, full of cow pastures.  And donkeys, y’all!  And my mom’s husband was shooting cans and bottles with shotguns and pellet rifles in their backyard.  I’m just not used to stuff like that in the ‘hood of Atlanta.  I’m only used to people shooting other people with guns.  I realize I was not in a booming area such as Dallas, Houston, etc., but I just don’t think I could embrace Texas with much love.  Hot Brazilian and I have discussed moving other places down the road, but if he ever suggests Texas I’m just going to have to decline.  But one of his favorite sayings is, “America thinks they are the center of the world and Texans think Texas is the center of America” so I doubt he wants to stampede to live there either. 

And I’m totally going to sound like the most judgmental person on earth, but if you love to people watch as much as I do, you have not lived until you’ve gone to Walmart in Longview, Texas.  My mom once saw a woman in there who apparently looked exactly like Willie Nelson except for the beard.  I’m pretty sure I saw some of her relatives while I was visiting.  Wow, I really know how to alienate all of you from Texas, huh?  Feel free to come to Georgia and make fun too.  Trust me, there is way more to tease us about than I could ever say about Texas.  But I guess I’m just accustomed to the crazy here in Georgia.  Like my niece who orders one chicken biscuit and one plain biscuit from Chick-Fil-A, opens them both up, moves the chicken to the plain biscuit for a while, but never eats the chicken in the end.  She just likes the flavor of the chicken juice on her biscuit but doesn't like the chicken.  I teased her about that all week. Because that's weird.

My mom drove back with us to Atlanta and spent the past several days at my house so I’ve been working and then going home, making us dinner and we’ve been playing a card game called Hand and Foot until late every night.  I kill at that game!  I didn’t think she’d want to sit around and watch me type a blog post each evening because can you even imagine how boring that would be?  Plus she has a habit of anytime something good happens saying, “Beverly, please don’t blog about this.  Please don’t put this on Facebook.”  So I couldn’t exactly type a post with her begging me not to put everything interesting that was happening in it. 

Also, we have had some pretty severe storms in Atlanta this week so I’ve kept my laptop unplugged and we played cards with a flashlight next to us since the power was flickering on and off.  The weather was so bad it made a friend of mine’s landline accidentally call 9-1-1.  She and her husband were sound asleep at 2:00 a.m. when suddenly a police officer was in their backyard waving a flashlight across their bedroom window scaring them half to death.  Their landline hasn’t even worked for 3 months and they have no phones plugged in so they are as perplexed as the police officer as to how a 9-1-1 call was made from their house.  She is blaming their cat, Crouton.  A cat with a name like that probably does stuff like make mysterious landline calls to the police. 

So to sum up, I’ve been basically spending quality time with my mom this week and totally ignored y’all and Music Monday.  I’ll get back to that next week.  Gah!  Saying that makes me sound like I think y’all were sitting around just begging and pleading for me to write and do the Music Monday contest.  But probably some of y’all didn’t even notice I was MIA.  My mom left this morning so I’ll try to get back to blogging fairly regularly.  I know y’all feel like your lives are going to be more complete now.  Ha! 

In completely unrelated news, remember how my lawn mower handle fell off when I was cutting the grass right before I left for Texas?  Probably not since you probably have more important things happening in your own life.  On Sunday I did manage to go to buy new screws so I can put my lawn mower handle back on, but guess what I didn’t have time to do after I got home from the hardware store?  Put my lawn mower handle back on.  And who is completely perturbed that the lawn mower I have used approximately 4 times fell apart in the first place?  I figured I would try to put my mower back together one night this week and mow my grass so it would look as pretty as possible for the Satellite Birthday Party for June this weekend.  But severe thunder, lightning, trees falling down and torrential downpours have not exactly been the best weather for lawn cutting.  And both my mom and my brother were at my house for dinner last night so my grass has not been mowed.  And guess what else?  It’s supposed to rain every single night this week and on Saturday so those of you coming to the party are going to look at my yard and say, “I thought she went on and on about doing yard work all the time?  Look at her tall grass!  Look at the leaves blown all over her tall grass!  Look at the plants all drowned and awful looking!”  I tried, okay? 

But I am so excited about the party Saturday!  I’ve invited my Cajun neighbor and his wife - the Amsterdam neighbor, my humanitarian aid neighbor, and my Jamaican professional bodybuilder neighbor and some others to join us.  So lots of interesting conversations will be going on without a doubt.  The bodybuilding neighbor has not replied yet so I’m not sure if he and his group are coming.  I think he’s preparing for a pretty big competition so he may be busy drinking protein, sleeping 12 hours a day, at the gym working out, etc.  Laurie, Sadie and Tee will be in ‘da house!  If anyone else wants to join us, I’m trying to get the final headcount for food, etc. so please let me know.  Texas peeps:  jump on a plane and come make fun of us!  I totally deserve it after bashing your entire state based on the one podunk town I visited!!