Don't ever leave me stranded in the jungle. I won't like you very much if you do.

Boy, y’all know yourselves some food songs.  And Sadie, I did know a couple of the ones you submitted.  I’m really not that young. 

In fact, this Saturday I will be 44.  It’s my birthday y’all!  I’m going to get up and cut my grass because nothing says “Happy Birthday to me” like some fun lawn mowing early on a Saturday.  And why does grass have to grow so dadgum much?  I don’t like mowing every blasted weekend.  But then after my yard is prettied up, I’m going to Folk Fest.  It’s the world’s largest folk art show and it’s here in Atlanta each year and it’s always right around my birthday.  And since it’s in August, let me pause to give thanks that it’s an indoor festival with a/c.  Last year, one of my favorite folk artists and a friend in real life, Sam Granger, gave me a pair of freedom chicken earrings.  They are truly one of a kind.  So is Sam Granger.  If you like to hear some crazy stories, you should figure out how to meet Sam.  He's an awesome guy.  Then I’m heading to Snellville (yes, it’s a real place) to my dad’s house for dinner with part of my family.  One of my cool neighbors who came to June’s birthday party last month is celebrating his birthday on the 20^th so they are having a get together on Sunday.  So I will be doing fun birthday stuff all weekend. 

In other news, after Hot Brazilian had to quickly leave the internet café in the middle of the Amazon jungle because of the thousands of ants when we were talking on Sunday night, he promised he would call me again on Monday night to let me know he made it back to civilization (sort of) in the capital city.  The capital city is not exactly modern, y'all.  Well, he didn’t call me until last night so I’ve been fretting and worrying for two days.  But after he told me what happened, I just feel terrible for him. 

Turns out he and his friend were about half-way back to the "city" on Sunday night, it was late, and they were smack dab in the middle of the jungle when something really bad happened.  There are not exactly expressways to drive on.  The 200 miles is mostly on dirt roads.  And it’s the rainy season.  They got stuck in mud in the middle of the jungle at almost midnight.  It was pitch black outside, they were nowhere near any sort of village, and so they could not get out of the car.  There are giant snakes, other not so nice critters, lots of dangerous bugs that bite, Amazon Indians (and a lot of them really aren’t very nice) that could have come across them, etc.  They were stuck all night (almost 8 hours because at dawn the mosquitoes are really bad and they didn’t want malaria so they had to wait a while after the sun came up to get out) in an un-air conditioned car sitting in the middle of mud in the Amazon.  And he told me he was terrified.  Y’all.  I cannot even imagine.  I would have just needed to ask him to punch me in the head so I would pass out and wouldn’t even know it was happening if I had been there.  Crap.  I mean, I know I said this already, but I really cannot even imagine.  When I went down there to visit him I could hardly stand that housekeeping turned our air off in our hotel room after we left and it was hot when we got back.  But gigantic anacondas?  Mosquitoes that give you malaria?  Mean Indians?  Stuck in a car in the pitch black jungle all night?  Ack! 

After they finally got back to the “city” the next afternoon he did some stuff and then fell asleep before I would have been home for him to call me.  We use Skype since it’s free and I can’t download it on my work computer so we only talk when I’m at my house.  The next night he couldn’t get internet service to work.  That means I had to wait 2 days to see if he survived all the ants and a trip through the jungle.  I told him that it’s this kind of stuff that makes me want him to come back to the U.S. immediately.  He’s supposed to be back here at the end of the year but I know the Amazon adventures are what keeps him so alive in his soul.  He’ll be back, but I see many trips to the Amazon in the future.  I don’t think I’ll venture out of the city with him much though. 

And in yet other news, I went to get my emissions inspection done on my car before work this morning.  And thankfully I passed so I can get my car tag renewed.  But y’all.  The guy running the place was, um, interesting.  I was trying to pay with my debit card.  First he couldn’t get the phone jack to stay in the wall.  Then he couldn’t get the jack to stay in the back of the credit card machine.  Finally I just paid in cash so I wouldn’t be there all day.  And he was from a foreign country.  I’m not sure where but maybe Egypt or something?  Anyway, boyfriend could not speak English all that well.  So I said “huh?” a lot.  And “what?”  And also “can you repeat that please?”  At one point he told me to turn off my engine and later I wasn’t sure if he said “turn your engine back on” or if he said “go do a cartwheel, then stand on your head while you eat some grapes” because I could not understand him at all. 

Speaking of grapes, let’s move on to our food themed Music Monday results on Thursday…sorry for the delay.  I promise I'm going to get on a more regular posting schedule.  Soon.  Ish.  I may shock y'all and post again tomorrow.  Here are a few songs I came up with: 

I've told y'all how much I love Beastie Boys, right?  Egg Man:

Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl:

And I LOVE the B-52's (they were from my college town of Athens, Ga. and I got to see them perform live one night in the field behind my dorm.)  I have to include Quiche Lorraine:

I'm also a fan of Jack Johnson and this is one of my favorite songs from him.  Banana Pancakes:

First Place goes to Lisa Pie for Red Red Wine.  LOVE that song.  I'm linking to a UB40 version:

Second Place also goes to Lisa Pie.  Because how could The Pina Colada song not be included.  And now we will all have it stuck in our heads for a week:

Third Place goes to Sadie.  Because I also love that scene in Beetlejuice.  Banana Boat Song: