Police. Drugs. Cake. Getting lost. Anacondas. It's all in this one post.

Surprise!  I’m actually managing to post two whole days in a row.  Because guess what?  I’ve only had to send out 115 overnight packages this week.  Yay!  This post is going to be all over the place.  Consider that a warning. 

We’re in the middle of Friday Afternoon Song Contest here in my office and that reminds me of something that happened.  Yesterday when I was leaving work, I had my windows rolled down.  The area of Atlanta I work in has horrid traffic in the evenings so our building hires police officers to work both of the exits to help us get out or we might sit there forever.  People think Southerners are friendly and hospitable, but put them in Atlanta rush hour and the majority of them turn into selfish, mean, awful people who will not let anyone in front of them.  Plus Atlanta doesn’t have a lot of Southerners left to be honest.  Everyone here is from somewhere else.  But anyway, I was leaving work and had my windows rolled down and I was sitting at the exit waiting for the officer to stop traffic to let me out.  Suddenly I realized he was staring at me with a weird look on his face.  And I realized I had my mp3 plugged in to my stereo and I was  playing it a little too loudly.  A Michael Franti and the Spearheads song was on and the song is about peace.  However, there is one mention of heroin and opium in the song and that’s the part that was playing (loudly) as I sat next to a police officer.  Awesome.  Here is the song: 

Remember I told y’all we are remodeling our offices?  Today is our firm’s anniversary of leasing space in this building (our firm has been in this space since the 80’s) so they brought us two ginormous cakes.  Let me just say that people around here get themselves all worked up and excited over free cake.  So part of our group (two partners, one associate and three assistants) all stampeded for cake.  We have parts of our firm in temporary office spaces all over the building while different floors are under demo and construction.  We have three towers in our building.  After we got our pieces of cake, someone said they wanted to go see the samples of what our new furniture, cubicles, etc. are going to look like.  The samples are in another tower.  You can cross from tower to tower only on certain floors.  And can I tell y’all how lost we got since we never cross towers and didn’t know where we were going?  We went from floor 17 to 10 to 4 back to 10 to 11 to 3 back to 11 to 1 to 3 back to 11 back to 1 and finally back to 17.  And we were all about to wet our pants we were laughing so much.  We had all finished our cake about halfway through all of the elevator rides but no one could find a trash can so we looked kind of dumb, our group of 6 people walking around with empty plates all over the building and throughout two towers. 

We did find the samples at some point though.  After walking around in circles for quite a while when we finally got to the correct floor in the correct tower.  Cubicles.  Not looking forward to that. 

In other unrelated news (I warned y’all this post would be all over the place, remember?), I talked to Hot Brazilian again last night.  I asked him if he had gotten some sleep to recover from his horrible night stuck in the mud in the middle of the jungle and do y’all know what he told me?  Well, no you don’t unless you have bugged my house and listened in on our conversation.  In which case, did y’all like the funny story he told me about when he first moved to the U.S. and he was learning to speak English and a lady kept pressuring him to ask her out on a date and he loved saying “don’t give up” even though he didn’t totally understand what it meant and so he told her not to give up several times so she kept asking him out?  (He never took her out on a date by the way.  They met through some work related stuff and he was afraid she was setting him up to charge him with sexual harassment because that’s what he thought most American women do based on things he had heard.  Ha!  Oh how I love my Hot Brazilian.) 

Anyway, getting back to the point (I say that as though this post has any point whatsoever), when I asked him about whether he had gotten some sleep or not he said no.  Y’all are not going to believe why not.  So I guess I should tell you instead of keeping you hanging, huh?  He hasn’t been able to sleep at night because it’s been raining really hard.  When it rains really hard, the rivers rise and flood the town.  And there are anacondas in the river and they sometimes float right into people’s houses!  OMG!  He said a family was asleep a few days ago, the flooding started, an anaconda floated into a house and ate a man.  Just ate him while he was sleeping, y’all.  Hot Brazilian said the house where he’s staying has not flooded but the street in front of the house has.  So now he can’t sleep when it rains at night.  And I never want to visit the Amazon during rainy season. 

Beverly.  Not at all a fan of being swallowed by a snake in my sleep.

UPDATE:  One of our partners just told me he wishes he was Justin Timberlake.  He also told me earlier this week that he has a perfectly proportioned ass and asked me if I was looking at it while he was using my scanner.  This is why I don't mind my job most days.  And y'all, he's completely straight which you might not think from the two things I just told you.