I'm never going to water my lawn without a bra on again. And maybe I'll wear pearls and heels when I do it from now on.

Last night I went to physical therapy (and don't worry, this isn't really another one of my boring posts about physical therapy).  When I go, there tends to be the same patients and I rarely see anyone I haven't seen before.

But last night there was a guy I had not seen.  We're all in one big open room so you know what body parts people are having issues with and you hear all of the conversations going on around you.  It turns out this guy is not a brand new patient, but he had not been in about a month.  The last thing that you do at each appointment is lay on a table and get iced down.

Last night all three of us who were in there all ended up being iced at the same time.  So there we were.  Lined up side by side on tables, on our backs staring at the ceiling.  Staring.  Staring.  Staring some more.  You stare at the ceiling while turning into a popsicle for the longest 10 minutes you can imagine. 

Stare.

Stare.

Ceiling.

Stare.

Ceiling.

Freeze.

Stare.

Shiver.

Stare.

Stare.

Suddenly, the "new" guy says, "Hey.  I'm going to tell all of you a story."  And I got all excited and liked this guy because he was going to entertain us.   While we stared.  And froze.

He wasn't a huge, obese guy, but he wasn't skinny either.  He was a very manly guy though.  And this was his story:

"I'm not on Facebook.  I'm not on LinkedIn.  And I don't tweet people.  I don't want anything embarrassing out there on the internet about me so I stay away from all of that stuff.  Well, I am on Pinterest." 

I instantly loved him for that.  I could picture his manly self sitting around pinning recipes and home decor ideas and it made me laugh inside.

He continued. 

"I took a couple of days off work last week and my dad came over.  We were going to build some bookcases for my house."

He probably pinned some he liked and decided to build them.

"So I put on an old, worn out pair of shorts.  And I threw on a t-shirt.  It was a light gray shirt.  Then I got serious and I strapped my gigantic tool belt around my waist because we were going to be building stuff."

"And to top everything off, I stuck an Elliot Sadler NASCAR hat on my head.  I looked awesome!"

The part with the hat?  I was already laughing out loud and could not stop.  And he started laughing at me.

He continued.

"I opened up the garage door and my dad and I started working on stuff.  It was pretty hot outside that day and I was sweatin' pretty good after a little while.  And remember I said I was wearing a light gray t-shirt?"

Someone said, "yes."

"Well, it was really hot.  So I had wet sweat marks all under my pits and under my boobs."

And I was about to roll off the table laughing because he said he has boobs.  He started laughing at me.  And neither of us could stop for a minute.

Finally he continued.

"So I was standing there right at the door of the garage with my light gray shirt, wet sweat marks all up under my pits and boobs, big ol' tool belt around my waist, and my Elliot Sadler NASCAR hat on and I looked up because I heard a car."

Pause.

"Y'all aren't going to believe this....."

Pause.

"It was the Google maps car taking pictures."

And I laughed so hard I almost had tears running down my legs.  Oh holy carp, I could not stop laughing.

"So I've made all this effort not to have anything humiliating out there online about me, and now I'm going to be on Google maps with sweat stains and a NASCAR hat on for years and years."

And now he's going to have this story on a blog.